Male loneliness is one of the hidden problems of modern society. The number of single people is growing every year. The issue of female loneliness is widely discussed among the masses. People talk about it on TV screens, write articles, and write songs. At the same time, no one notices that not only women are alone. So many lonely men turn to a dating site to find a woman and strive to meet their special someone finally.
Why singles are always judged and why it should be stopped
- There are three types of social perception of a single man:
- "He is a sissy, an infantile dependent on his mom."
- “He has already been divorced twice, he cannot be tolerated in marriage. He does not respect his wife”.
- “He doesn't need marriage, he only loves himself. He only needs women to satisfy basic needs”.
Even women exhausted by loneliness do not want to marry husbands. Such stereotypes stigmatize loneliness and push a man and his feelings on a second plan. Society cannot come to realize that a man and a woman can have platonic relationships or that couples sometimes divorce, and it's normal. We have to stop shaming lonely people because they do not always enjoy the state they are in. Besides, many life circumstances may have led to such a situation. When a person struggles with not dating anyone for many years and puts so many efforts into fighting loneliness, making fun of them will only make matters worse.
The negative impact of feeling lonely.
To be alone among people is very scary. This state is worse than depression and apathy. Loneliness is called the disease of the 21st century. And more and more people have been suffering from it lately.
Stigmatization of it in the society
Scientists believe that women suffer more from loneliness than men. It is known that women are more emotional than men. They mainly expect more from friendship, companionship, and love. However, men also strive for emotional support, affection, support, help, and advice, which is lacking when a person is alone.
A study at the University of Chicago found that loneliness has a deleterious effect on human health, similar to alcohol, smoking, and overeating. Scientists believe that isolation from society is equal to smoking fifteen cigarettes a day. Besides, people suffering from loneliness are very susceptible to nervous, cardiovascular, and other psychosomatic diseases.
Loneliness is "contagious"
When a lonely person talks about how lonely and unhappy they are, those who hear this person may experience the same feelings about themselves. On the one hand, a person experiencing loneliness alienates from other people. On the other hand, people isolate themselves even more from this person to get influenced by a constant wave of negativity.
Developing distrust of others
As a rule, people become lonely when they lose an emotionally significant person for themselves: for example, after the death of a loved one or a partner's cheating. It is a natural state of a person to isolate oneself from the whole world after such stress. Still, one should not get carried away with it, since the very spirit of loneliness develops even more distrust of people. This depression is not romantic loneliness but rather a dangerous mental state.
Loneliness is invisible to others
Loneliness is a tricky feeling, and not always relatives and friends can see the problem of their friend's loneliness. Precious time is lost, and psychological illness progresses. You should be there for your loved ones and help them seek ways to fight loneliness.
How to accept your loneliness
If now you are forced to be alone, for example, you left for an unfamiliar city, broke up with your loved one, quarreled with your best friend. Find the benefits of your loneliness. Accept the benefits of a new lifestyle instead of fighting loneliness.
Temporary loneliness can be beneficial
It is better to have a lot of "me-time" than to be always around people. Even true extraverts will get exhausted from this. Devote some time to recharge your emotional batteries. For example, ask yourself a question or set an experience: "What should I do to feel comfortable alone with myself?"
You have more time for yourself
Acquire new knowledge and skills in preparing complicated dishes, read historical, scientific literature, sign up for foreign language courses, drive, knit, massage, take care of your appearance and do what you like.
Stop considering yourself unworthy of love
Many people treat loneliness as a punishment for not being a good friend or a partner. When people leave, they start self-flagellating and get anxious. If you are ready to fulfill your responsibilities, be faithful, caring, and become a desirable candidate. You are more powerful than you think. Stop underestimating your abilities. Besides, love can never be earned, just taken as a gift.
Refuse forced online dating
Most of the online dating experiences don't end well. You need to look for love on your own: get to know each other on the street, meet friends, expand your social circle. Take a break from excessive swiping because this is an attempt to run away from reality. You will not be ready to learn how to fight loneliness unless you accept your current state.
It would help if you got rid of insecurities
All concepts of beauty and consistency are subjective and existent only in your mind. Love yourself; feel worthy. What matters is not how you look, but what is inside you. Remember one simple truth: people around you subconsciously feel how you evaluate yourself and treat yourself accordingly. Learn to love and respect yourself, and you will become attractive.
How to fight loneliness: ideas and tips
Loneliness or Freedom? Everyone decides for himself. Loneliness is a heavy burden for a man. Some studies even prove that bachelors live less. What to do if you are lonely and single? Here are some tips to help you.
Eliminate distorted concepts of yourself and others
Many single people have misconceptions about themselves and others. The more they dig and blame themselves, the lower their self-esteem drops, and the more difficult it becomes for them to communicate with others. The more they invent enemies in those around them, the higher they build a wall between themselves and society. No wonder they say — "if you want to change the situation, start with yourself."
Open up to the world
It is human nature to defend. Inside, a man can languish with loneliness, but outside he can be tough and unfriendly. How can others understand that you need communication? The difference between loneliness or being single is that a person still seeks a partner and communication in the latter case. Being lonely means that you have isolated yourself from society.
Rebuild old connections
We often feel sorry for ourselves and complain about our loneliness, while forgetting our relatives, whom we have not seen for a long time. We forget to take care of our grandparents, for whom our help is so important. How to beat loneliness when you are single? Recall what old friends or relatives you have and drop them a line.
Help the one in need
Surely among your environment, some people feel worse than you. For example, your sister recently gave birth to a baby and has a hard time coping with the new responsibilities. Help her. She will appreciate it.It is believed that people involved in charitable, educational, and medical activities suffer the least from loneliness.
Learn to have more small talks
Imagine how nice it would be if people were interested in your mood and news? To be accurate, there are many such people. They feel sincere pleasure from giving out their energy. You can call them leaders, souls of the company, or extraverts — whatever they are, many people will be glad to talk to you at a coffee break or in a queue at a bank. They can make your day, so do not stay away from such people.
Hobbies and work
You don't have to take a psychology course to overcome your loneliness. If you find your favorite business, for example, visiting a handicraft club, a swimming pool, a fitness center, joining the mayor's detachments, or volunteering, you will find yourself a good company. There is nothing better than having like-minded people as friends and loved ones.
Stop thinking of yourself as a lonely person
For many, loneliness becomes a real drug. They get stuck in a vicious circle of complaining about their mental state and refusing people who would be glad to spend time with them under normal circumstances. The more you play the same scenario in your head of coming home after work and watching Netflix, the more opportunities you lose. Your subconscious begins to persuade you that you shouldn't even try to step out of the comfort zone. You stop communicating and behave as a shy person even if you used to be a real energy bomb.
Never turn to alcohol and drugs
Trying out stimulants is up to teenagers who are immature to understand the consequences of such games. If you are a weak person, you can become addicted. If the younger generation drinks mainly from a misunderstanding by adults, then the older one drinks because of dissatisfaction with themselves, the way of life, and the circle of communication. Naturally, alcoholic and narcotic "soaring" gives temporary, illusory happiness, the problem doesn't disappear.
Realize that there are no “halves”
Hopeless romantics invents the theory that your companion is walking somewhere nearby. But in reality, we are all complete individuals. You do not have to own a partner to be a worthy person. You shouldn't even strive to learn how to battle loneliness if you feel comfortable. Let go of the social constructs imposed on you by the surrounding. Listen to yourself.
Love is not the main thing in life (or in a relationship)
What to do if you are lonely and single? Please do something to fight it. However, only if you sincerely feel that you can strive for more and not just to be like anybody else. It is important that two people feel great when together and cope with their roles within the relationship model. Love or animal passion is not the main thing here.
Finally, how to overcome the loneliness of being single?
Try to find advantages so that the bachelor's position does not poison your existence and does not affect your health. Do some meditation, play your favorite music, or watch football. Each time you are alone, remember: you must love yourself and not live in the constant state of waiting for someone. Listen to your desires and divide them from the beliefs imposed on you by society. Do what you love, perhaps it will be a warm bath or a good TV show. Or maybe you should put the house in perfect order. Whatever you like — just do not let yourself engage in self-flagellation.
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