First date is that unforgettable time when you have butterflies in your stomach. Especially, if this is a girl you have been dreaming about for a long-long time. ESPECIALLY, when she made excuses several times or dropped you, so a man’s self-esteem couldn’t handle it. You felt like a king of the hill. A lady was magnificent, she looked expensive and so cute and innocent. This date seemed like your biggest achievement.

Unfortunately, women are very skillful actresses. There is a high probability that she was faking her best expressions in order not to disappoint you. You never know if a woman will agree to a second date. Let’s imagine your first date went great and you truly feel it. But what are the borders you should not cross after such a win? How to maintain a passion and guarantee the continuation? What to say and what to avoid? These questions will be answered within a minute.

what to expect after the first date

Follow-Up Text After A First Date: Rules And Timing

So your date went amazing, right? I hope you were a real gentleman and walked her home or something like that. Or, you could act like two good friends without anything really sexual. Either way, your date is only half of the deal. What’s most important is what comes next.

Text comes next. What to text after a first date?

It depends on what kind of mood she was in when she went home. If you left her all hot and bothered, you can text her up something really passionate. Not every woman lets something serious happen after a first date. It is the very time when two people see each other as a deal. And everybody wants to get a good bargain, even if it sounds a little bit pragmatic. Texting after the first date has to be flattering and caring. The good choice is to:

  • ask how she got home. You will sound like you think about her and you genuinely care about her safety. It may work with gentle women best. On the other hand, if you deal with a businesswoman or generally a bossy person, it won’t work. Also, do not sound like you try to suffocate her free space all at once (yes, let’s not forget about emotionally unavailable people). Be temperate.
  • send a thank you text after first date. It would be the safest choice of all, probably. It doesn’t depend on the stage of your relationship. You could end a first date on a romantic note, and it will sound sweet, grateful, and innocent. By the way, it’s very neutral and leaves space for any kind of conversation.
  • use conversation starters. Texting after first date is very fruitful when you remember personal things and can bring them up lately. For example, if your date smeared mustard all over her collar, you could ask a genuine question with a note of irony: “How is your collar doing? Is it clean?” Sure, it sounds very far-fetched, silly and clichéd, and she is probably understanding that you just pull out any topic to renew the speaking thing, but it still works best for shy and awkward people.
  • just say Hello. It is classic, very neutral, and somehow boring. But you should never reach out and be a clown to appear smarter or funnier. Sometimes less is more.

When to text a girl after first date?

Scary ‘successful’ coaches always claim that woman has to want you first, so it’s better to text her in the next century. Maybe till that time, you may warm the degree of passion between you two and she will even text you first after all. Of course, if a young lady does not die alone on cold bedsheets, she may even reach out to you first. But is this a good strategy? No, I wouldn’t say so. If a person has a desire to send the first date to follow up text, why wait till Sunday?

follow up text after a date

The truth is, when you want to appear tough and cool, busy, and dictating rules, in reality, she may think that you are simply not interested and get cooled down as well. So the faster - the better. But not every time. Just wait until she at least gets in an elevator, because you may seem like a crazy stalker. Make sure your date is home but never hit her up in the “f-boy time” (a time of the night from 00:00 till 2:00 a.m., because all women know that men send texts so late only when they feel horny). Be a real gentleman and ask something nice the very day you met.

Things to avoid:

  • Cheesy follow-up text after a date is the worst. Don’t call her princess bubblegum after a first date, because, believe me, no one wants to be petted like that when you are not even that close.
  • Overdramatic phrases about her glossy hair that made you crazy. In your head, it may seem very prince-esque, but in reality, you sound like an idiot who tries too hard.
  • Openly sexual texts. “I wish we had sex that night” is probably the most annoying thing you can text to a girl. She searches for a real man. How do I know? Because if it wasn’t so, you would probably have got laid till that time. When to text a girl when she is not online/asleep/dead. Logically, you should wait till she appears online. Calling her instantly to check if she’s home is really persistent and can be estimated normally only by women with daddy issues.

Bad signs:

  • She was online, but ignored your text. Or she made an excuse of being busy. In reality, women who are obsessed with a person will find any excuse to hear from him any time of the day and delay any work. You do this as well, so there is no mystery.
  • She said you were different people. It’s a classic excuse when a person is being too nice to reject another date.

Note: don’t ask her on the next date the same day. Be less greedy! You both have to take a break and have a good conversation. That way, you will feel much more confident and familiar next time.

What To Expect After The First Date?

Post first date time is indefinite. It is the period, which can be really long and anxious for you. Will she agree to go on the second date? Did she like me? what to expect after the first date? You will have to take everything in your own hands, my sir, because most of the time women expect. They never suggest in order not to appear overly attached.

Tips after first date:

1. Like in bed before she finishes, never stop! Slowing down the speed is not good for her. Be present in her life. Send a pic, drop a joke or a funny situation. If a girl is not really interested, it takes her approximately a week to stop thinking about her date. If she is really dear and you don’t want to disappear, be a walking reminder (make sure you are not on mute).

2. Dating advice after first date – connect the bridges. Be a little more persistent in your conversations. Why? Because women never know what they really want. She may be comfortable with you hanging there in the unknown status. Your aim is to make her decide faster whether she wants to keep dating you.

3. Send flowers or yourself to her home. Well, not a lot of people will agree. It is rather effective if your girl is risky. You can quit texting and appear at her place like no big deal. Mind you that women have plans too and some of them are not very hospitable and ready to meet a man, having bad hair or no makeup.

How To Ask Her Out On A Second Date?

Text her. There is a lot of articles like “What to do after a first date?” and “After the first date rules for men”, but all of them lack practicality. Which normal person does weird stuff to invite a girl on a second date. Come on, it’s scary. Texting is such a simple way to make it ‘everyday’ and unobtrusive. Make sure you insert this invitation between your texting lines. Don’t be silent for a week and then ask a person on a date – it won’t work. Again, a girl may think you just need something form her and no one appreciates people who go all serious out of the blue.

after the first date rules for men

Call her. Or Facetime. Contact after first date by letting her hear your real voice. It is very simple, yet seems to work. Make sure you call at the appropriate time and she is not bothered. Every girl wants to be surprised (pleasantly) after a first date. So choose a place that is slightly more interesting and call when you have decided.

What to do after a first date? Skype call her. You may even have a digital date together (when people dine via video-calls). It seems weird and in spite of being too far, you are actually getting closer to her safe zone. Somehow, people, who are separated by a screen, are not afraid to eat and laugh crazily in front of others, rather than doing it in real life.

Be direct with her. Don’t play little games like hide-and-seek, because girls hate that. Say you find her PLEASANT and NICE, it’s your comfort zone. Usually, it’s too early to reveal real feelings, because you have no idea if she feels the same way.

Say you miss her. It is a very sweet reminder of your newly connected bonds. She might miss you as well, so the date will soon happen. If not, a girl will use her busy-card, personal difference phrase, and all of that stuff. Usually, when you wait for a week, it is more or less clear if she is ready and interested in a second date. If she flops:

Be positive. Remind her of yourself a couple times more. It may be embarrassing to reach out and be rejected, but, as I’ve said, women never know what they want, so next time she will change her mind.

Don’t be pushy. It’s best for you to be patient and wait if a girl is really nice. She might be going through some hard stuff as well.

Don’t be aggressive. She is not a bitch, she’s just not your type of person.

Coming up to the logical end, this is just a date. There is no universal code where there are rules of “the mysterious second time”. The less you worry about it and the more you stay positive – the higher the chances of your next meeting will be!


When it's best to text after a first date?
 Actually, it depends… To show your good manners, you can text a girl the same night after a date to make sure she got home safely. Such a quick text after a first date will let her understand you are interested. Another good option is the next day.
What to text after a first date with a girl?
 1. Whether she got home. 2. A ‘thank you’ message after a good date night. 3. Ask her about something you spoke on a date.
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