Wondering what to do to attract a girl’s attention? We’ll tell you how to change your status from ‘invisible’ to ‘one and only’ in a few steps. You’ll learn what women hone in on first, what they value the most, and how to stand out from the others to always stay in your crush’s spotlight.
Have you had this feeling when the girl is looking through you as if you don’t exist? In this article, we’ve gathered the most common mistakes men make when approaching women and tips that will help you tip the scales in your favor. Work on yourself, begin self-improving, and follow our advice to start getting curious looks.
Honest reasons she doesn't notice you
Despite some popular beliefs, girls don’t look for the prettiest and wealthiest. All they want is a man of a certain type and mind next to them. If you don’t meet certain criteria, you don’t fit for a long-term relationship. A girl will never waste her time on you if she discovers one of the signs below.
Unkempt appearance
Appearance is a matter of taste, but everyone, without exception, appreciates neatness and a sense of style. How can your crush notice you if you don’t care about yourself? If a guy hangs around in crumpled pants, doesn’t know what shampoo is, and has skin problems in his 30s, not every girl will bother searching for the rich inner world underneath terrible looks.
Self-doubt
A downcast look, stoop, and fear of looking people in the eye turn you into a ghost. Sure, you can spend your best years chatting with single ladies online and stay in your comfort zone, but if you want to get some real attention, then raise your head, straighten your shoulders, and focus on your strengths. Ask your friends what qualities and skills they value in you. Keep them in mind when walking down the street, and you’ll begin to notice changes in people’s attitudes towards you.
Bad manners
There’s been a problem with good manners lately – they tend to slowly disappear, and women begin to appreciate even the simplest things. It’s not surprising – they’re done carrying heavy stuff and watching men closing doors before them. They’d be happy to award a gentleman with a sweet smile or even a phone number. But manners aren’t only about helping women out – you can hold a thousand doors and get nothing in return if you’re a terrible person.
Passivity
Those who never take the first step may never find out what girls think of them. Our society isn’t progressive enough yet to fully accept that it’s OK for women to approach men. A lot of people still don't have a partner because they’re afraid to take the initiative. Want to know how to get your crush to notice you? Take your eyes off that phone screen and try to strike up a conversation. If you’re a good conversationalist, and the girl is single, she won’t mind having a little chat.
Narrow horizons
A man can be smart and educated but have a tiny sphere of interest. Such a person would probably struggle to maintain a conversation on abstract topics, coming across as a bore with no hobbies. Try broadening your horizons through watching something deeper than superhero blockbusters, reading, and traveling. Or at least make a list of topics to avoid when chatting with girls.
How to make your crush notice you – main mistakes
Sometimes you just can’t win no matter how hard you try. Or maybe you don’t try hard enough. Persistence and assertiveness aren’t always the best way to win a lady’s attention. On the other hand, there’s no guarantee you’ll succeed through soft manners and a gentleman’s attitude. Here’s what you should avoid when dealing with the girl you like.
Too much self-confidence
Typically, this quality appears among those who were popular in school, had rich parents, or graduated from a pickup school. Girls feel this and prefer to stay away. These alpha-wannabes have a feeling like everybody owes them. If you think it’s enough to confidently approach your crush on the street to get her number right away, think twice. No worries, though, we’ll tell how to get your crush to notice you without talking later.
Too much softness too
This problem concerns those guys who always end up friendzoned. A guy can be empathetic, attentive, and romantic, but girls won’t see much of a boyfriend in him. If you’re ready to shop with your crush and listen to her whine for hours, she’ll most likely choose someone who pays less attention to her. A bit of sensitivity and attentiveness never killed anybody, but in women’s eyes, a man must remain a man.
Showing off
If you’ve got a fancy car, money, and connections, don’t brag about it all the time. If the girl doesn’t know about this yet, it’s better to present your strong suits gradually and only at the appropriate moment.
Self-centering
It’s natural for girls to learn as much as possible about their potential boyfriends, but not all at once. When chatting with your crush, don’t focus on yourself and show more attention to her. Ask questions, notice and compliment her looks, and so on.
Too much attention to your look
85% of girls prefer well-dressed guys. But no one says you have to wear a suit and tie every time your crush sees you. A good old pair of jeans can match your image just as great. Follow your personal style and try not to make yourself look like a peacock.
10 Easy steps and rules to get a crush to notice you
So, how do you get your crush to notice you? The answer is simple and banal – with yourself. It’s the details that cause the most trouble. All girls are different, so you’ll have to find a unique approach to the one you like. Here are the basic rules to help you out on your way.
Start with your clothes
Your shoes and clothes must look good, not perfect, appropriate, and fit your size. Actually, appropriateness is what you should focus on when choosing what to wear. Learn to complement your look with accessories. Dig through your wardrobe: if it has pieces you haven't worn in over a year, throw them away. Give your sense of style a proper thought. If you feel that you can’t cope on your own, google the basics of color-matching. Don’t worry, changing your style isn’t that expensive. Spending tons of money on clothes that don't suit you – that’s what expensive.
Then focus on your body
You need to keep an eye on your nails, ears, nose hair, and all those small but gross details. You like gorgeous and fit girls, don’t you? So why should your crush tolerate your neglected body? Get a normal haircut and, ideally, a good manicure. Look after your face and belly (yes, a gym membership wouldn’t hurt). Tidy yourself up. Don’t skip workouts. Go to a barbershop and let a professional take care of you. Then head to a beauty salon for a manicure and facial cleansing. It’s 21st century outside – a man must be well-groomed.
Tidy up your social media accounts
About 48% of girls check their new acquaintance online. So in case you don’t know how to make your crush notice you on social media, here are two basic rules: make sure there’s nothing that could scare your crush off on your Facebook and Instagram and follow as many of her friends as you can. The algorithms will do the rest.
Compliment the girl
Coming up with quality compliments is a real art. One good compliment can work wonders. At the same time, a terrible compliment can do a lot of damage. Here are some helpful tips:
- Try to praise not her appearance but her achievements, traits, what she herself is proud of.
- Do it sincerely and naturally.
- Avoid complex phrases and sophisticated expressions. Brevity and simplicity are always preferred.
- Be original, don’t use banal phrases and expressions.
Non-verbal communication is the key
Girls care a lot about how guys behave in public, how they present themselves. And there are factors like posture, voice, gait, or facial expressions that tell more about your personality than you could imagine. And you need to work on them. Your posture is what shows what kind of person you are because a lot of things depend on it. How to get a crush to notice you if you slouch and stare at the floor all the time? Spread your shoulders, raise your head. Your gait should be confident. If you walk by a girl, be sure to smile at her. Never lower your eyes – this is a sign of submission. Non-verbal communication is one of the ways of self-expression. And mastering it can help you win over the girl and make your conversation more effective.
Show concern
Here are a few little things that will play into your hands:
- Open the door for her when she gets out of the car.
- Suggest your jacket or jacket if it gets cold.
- Offer any kind of help she might need.
Don't worry and relax
Sure, it’s easy to talk to girls when you have no problem approaching them. But how to make your crush notice you if you're shy? The easiest way is to calm down. If you’re too excited about meeting a girl, just take a few deep and slow breaths in and out. The flow of oxygen to the brain will improve its work, making you calmer and more self-confident.
Learn to keep a conversation going
Girls love to hear beautiful, competent, clear speech. That’s why you must boost your eloquence. You need to learn to talk about the right topics while making sure the girl is really interested in everything you tell her. Don't ask too many questions, or she’ll feel like she’s being interrogated. Put more emphasis on simple communication with her.
Don’t forget about your sense of humor
If sense of humor is one of your strong suits, your chances automatically go higher. The ability to make her laugh is an important quality. The girl will most likely prefer a funny guy with no other advantages over a rich but annoying man with a stable salary and a fancy house. Most guys don't know how to make fun of a girl the right way. They’re either too afraid to offend or try to impress and look better in their eyes. It’s not the best decision because this is what can get a girl hooked, and she’ll gladly want to meet with you again. So here’s how to get a crush to notice you: don’t start acquaintance with serious topics; instead, make the girl laugh but without too much sarcasm or rudeness.
It’s important who you really are, not who you pretend to be
Studies have shown that a guy's positive personality traits are more attractive to girls than his social status. So just be a good guy (like you always were) and don’t expect too much from your crush. This way you’ll take the pressure off yourself when you meet her next time.
Bottom line
That’s pretty much all the essentials you need for starters. One last thing, though, – you don’t have to radically change yourself and your habits, and it’s OK if you don’t know how to make your crush notice you on Instagram or what her hobbies are. Juts remain a cultured, neat, and well-mannered person.
In general, first impressions are all about how you look. This means your personality still means a lot, but don’t forget about clothes. Just follow these simple rules, and you’ll be surprised next time you meet the girl you like.
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