I bet you have experienced a breakup at least once in your life. Why do we have so many problems keeping our long-term relationships work? Here are top 10 deal breakers in a relationship from the female point of view.

dating dealbreakers

First Date Deal Breakers

No tobacco

The use of tobacco is a deal breaker for women. I knew a man, who could not do an hour without a cigarette. This is a bad-bad habit. Not only because it affects our health, but because it makes your date feel deserted. How would you react if your female date got out of the restaurant to have a cigarette or two? I can’t imagine that. Well, it is one thing if both of you are smokers, and totally another if only one of you has the addiction. Nevertheless, I don’t recommend planning your first date in a restaurant or bar for smokers, even if both of you do smoke.

No rage

About a month ago I had a date with a really cute guy. The date, well the beginning of the date was quite promising. It was warm outside and he suggested to go on a picnic. Sounds romantic, ha?

I changed my opinion about this guy on our way to the park. The first thing to freak me out was his behavior as a driver. I have a car and I am aware of all the problems that may appear on the road. However, crazy drivers never make me behave like a jerk. My date was swearing all the way and did not even think to say he was sorry when we got to the park. It seemed like his anger and irritation turned into a real rage. Finally, rude behavior and rude language are 100% dealbreakers for women.

No vapes

Another date my bestie convinced me to go on, was fine… Well, almost fine. So, we had a dinner in a cute Chinese restaurant. He was nice and funny, and I had a feeling that I needed to say thanks to my bestie. We finished our meals and my date pulled out his vape. The place was really nice and you could not smoke there. Obviously, my date noticed that I was surprised with his gesture and assured me vapes were legal.

deal breakers in relationshipsGuys, it’s not that I say they are illegal or really harmful… The key thing is that vapes are not ethically acceptable, especially on your first date. Well, our date was officially spoiled when the cute guy blew a cloud of vapour right into my face. Keep in mind that your vape may become a deal breaker for women.

No reflecting techniques

I don’t encourage you to stop reading your favorite magazines. However, you should be aware that each technique, as well as each recommendation, requires some practice. And practicing them right on your first date is a wicked thought. Your actions may offend your beautiful date. Don’t spoil it. Don’t let your ignorance put a slur on your name. One guy (we met at a bar) was practicing a mirror technique on me. Unfortunately, all he succeeded in was my irritation. His gestures were nothing but annoying. Just imagine a man who is reflecting all of your gestures (even those you use to tell a story). What are your deal breakers? I cannot say for sure. Just make sure you don’t practice such techniques in an obsessive manner.

Top 10 Dating Deal Breakers

1. Don’t cheat on her

This, of course, is not the most important reason for breaking up. Nevertheless, it is one of the biggest deal breakers for women. A woman cannot turn a blind eye to a man who is cheating on her. Well, many women would be lenient toward your treason or pretend they never knew about it. The key thing here is that the phenomenon is rare among men. I don’t mean they don’t cheat, I mean they do not let it go or do it in very rare cases. Females find an excuse for their partners all the time.

2. Fulfill the expectations

The puppy love makes both of you look perfect. You ignore all the bad habits, vices, and weaknesses subconsciously. You notice only smiles, kisses under the moonlight and other pleasant moments. It seems that you are a perfect couple and are meant to be together. But that's just what you both want to see. In fact, your beloved does not like theaters and sushi, and you hate classical music and Teddy bears. When the rose-tinted glasses are off, everything becomes obvious. And here they are, deceived expectations, surprises, quarrels, and, alas, breakups.

3. Don’t control her

When partners try to control each other – whether they want it or not – they will get into a conflict. The weak party, of course, may surrender and accept the position. But if one of you has enough strength and pride, you will leave, slamming the door. The thing is that it is impossible to live the way your loved one wants. And it's not about the carpet you put in the bedroom, and not even about your another weekend with your parents. It is impossible to cope with your partner, when the one tells you with whom to communicate, what to wear and where to go all the time. It’s up to you, but it seems to me that such relationships are nothing but a disaster. Thus, control is another chapter of the relationship dealbreakers we are discussing. End it before your despotic partner will start stalking you on the streets.

4. Give up your bad habits

Alcohol is one of the most widespread relationship deal breakers in the world. At first, it seems that there is nothing wrong with that. You just meet your friends and have fun together. The house is full of people, everything is just fine. That’s before the violence knock on the door. This is when you realize that you experience physical abuse, property damage and swear words. Your partner is never at home and you cannot control the situation. When the situation surpasses the limits of patience, you pack your stuff and leave. Or pack the suitcases of your partner and make him or her leave. In any case, bad habits are deal breakers in a relationship.

5. Don’t lie to her

There is an opinion that white lie can save the relationship. This is actually the truth. However, you should keep in mind that the truth cannot stay hidden. There is no such secret, that won’t become revealed eventually. An innocent lie leads to mutual distrust. Wouldn’t it be better to tell the truth at once than to be left alone with lies?

6. Emotional baggage

Everyone has his own emotional baggage. And we carry it wherever we go. At the initial stages of the relationship, no one shows it. But then the baggage enters the life of a couple, revealing new, not always pleasant, facets. It is impossible to listen to the echoes of the past, living in the present. Healthy relationships are developed with patience. But if being in a new relationship, you still are into the former one, then you will have to choose what to save and what to crash. Don’t go into a new relationship with a huge emotional baggage. Leave it for your ex.

dealbreakers for women7. Don’t expect your partner to change for you

Girls often hope that they can change a person, make a prince out of their partner so that he meets all their requirements. Who cares that he smokes, drinks and swears now? He will become a perfect guy for her sake. They also believe that a man will change for the sake of a child. But, alas, the horse never turns into a prince, and the unfortunate princess remains single.

8. Little sex / no sex / bad sex

What are deal breakers here? All these issues are popular reasons for breakups among couples. Most often this happens because people confuse passion with love. An overpowering sexual desire, which cannot be controlled, makes the heart race. And then the desire disappears, and the passion fades. And it turns out that nothing really binds you, apart from the sex.

9. Age difference

No one bothers about the age difference nowadays. But the younger partner will always seem stupid, infantile and frivolous. Such couples often get married soon, especially if it is the man who is older. But few believe that these feelings are sincere. And few of these couples last long. Even though you don’t feel much pressure from outside, you may feel it inside of your couple.

10. Not ready for a serious relationship

It depends on both partners when to begin the relationship. But if one dreams of a marriage, and another one of a fling, then sooner or later these opinions will clash in the battle of the sexes. A woman can: 1) leave, having decided that she has neither time nor desire for short-term relationships; 2) stay, trying to change the decision of a man. Such a patient approach will be full of tricks, hidden manipulations, and lies. Sometimes women achieve the desired result. But if a man says directly that nothing is worth waiting for, then no attempt to provoke jealousy will help keep him next to her.

Deal Breakers In Relationship

Here are a few total dating dealbreakers:

  • You come home, turn on the TV, turn on the computer, take a newspaper, open a book and sit down to eat.
  • You hide your cigarette-butts into the cat's sandbox.
  • You eat bakery or sandwiches hidden under the mattress.
  • You use one and the same phrase each time you see the bill for the apartment, “Are they out of their f*cking mind?!”
  • You turn on the iron, wait for several minutes, then you lick your finger, touch the iron, get burned, you run around the room, waving you burned hands, you curse the whole idea, and turning off the iron say, “Shit. Could you do it for me, please?”
  • When entering the elevator, you jump several times in order to, as you say, check the cable.
  • When entering the restroom, you jump a couple of times but with a different purpose – to make the food move closer to the “exit”.
  • You call your mother-in-law “Your Fatjesty”.
  • You bring into the house, feed and warm up your abandoned and homeless drinking partners all the time.
  • Sometimes you don’t take out the trash for several days and sometimes the process of taking out the trash takes several days.
  • You sing with a low groaning voice when being in the restroom.
  • You play basketball with your socks.
  • You cook a piece of bread or a sausage on the candle fire during the romantic dinner.
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