Most relationships at some point undergo a serious test of strength. One of the difficulties is doubts as to whether to go further along the path of life with your current partner or not. In this case, some relationships ruin. At the same time, there are examples when a couple has repeatedly overcome difficulties, and still stayed together despite doubts. So, what to do when doubts arise in a relationship?
Are doubts in a relationship normal?
When men find single women and they start a relationship, for a variety of reasons, a period of choice and doubt may come one day. Having doubts about new relationship, we are thinking: “Am I wasting my time with my partner or can I still change something?” Weighing the pros and cons can last for years. What took so long? It seems to us, we choose somewhere between absolute happiness for life and total failure.
Is it normal to have doubts about your relationship? Yes, doubts in a relationship are normal. Only the fairy tale characters and soap operas that live after the wedding happily for a long time and die in one day have no doubts. If in doubt, then you are in a continuous process of finding a suitable lifestyle, meaning, and a loved one.
Sources of most usual relationship doubts
Of course, in any long-term relationship, there are always ups and downs. Sometimes when the honeymoon period ends, you want to spend less time at home and more with friends. Sometimes your partner ceases to attract you. But if you constantly doubt your relationship, then maybe you need to understand the sources of this feeling.
1. She cheated on you
Treason has never been a simple affair. But one thing is certain: if it appeared in a relationship, then the couple is already halfway to a breakup. So, if she cheats on you in any way, then you probably have relationship doubts about whether you need to stay together at all. Of course, you can forgive her, but actually, something inside makes you feel doubts about your choice.
2. She needs more time for herself
There is nothing wrong with spending time on yourself only. However, if your woman likes hanging out with friends much more than spending time with you, then this makes you doubt her love. Even if you say: “I’m having doubts about my relationship”, she doesn’t care. Being in a relationship, we all understand that we should give each other as much time and space as possible. If this doesn’t happen, then you don’t feel love from the girl and doubt her feelings for you.
3. She stops looking after herself
We love women. We love women of all shapes and sizes, colors of hair, and nationalities. But when we start a relationship, there is nothing worse than seeing that the person who once attracted us so much stops taking care of herself. We see a completely different person. And this makes us doubt the rightness of our choice.
4. Her jealousy is out of control
Jealousy is normal to some extent. But if she calls you at 2 in the morning, screams that you need to urgently return home, as she is sure that there are a lot of girls around you who want to have sex with you, then this is, of course, too much. Therefore, if there is such a problem, then it urgently needs to be solved, otherwise, your life together will turn into hell.
5. You have doubts about the fact that she is the one you need
Do you feel awkward when you talk about having a child? Do you think it is too early to introduce her to your parents? Are there any things you hide from her? If you answered “yes” to at least one of the questions, then this probably means that you doubt your choice. Why do you need such a relationship then?
Are your relationship doubts reasonable? Check list
Many people who were unlucky with partners don’t even imagine what a normal relationship should be, and, therefore, they make mistakes again and again. After reading this checklist, you will understand whether your doubts are reasonable.
1. Are you honest with each other?
One of the main indicators that your couple is strong is that you are honest. This means you can communicate openly with each other. You are completely honest and straightforward in your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. It also means that you are not afraid to be vulnerable and you trust each other.
2. Can you resolve disagreements together?
Disputes and doubts about relationship can’t be avoided. They happen in any couple. The reality is that you and your chosen one will not always agree with each other on every smallest detail. Thus, when you inevitably have disagreements, your readiness to resolve the differences is really important.
3. Are you happy?
Does your relationship bring joy to you and your chosen one? These things help strengthen intimacy and the bond between you. Such feelings help build a good foundation on which your relationship will grow. If you smile and laugh, then the relationship is developing harmoniously and there is no place for doubts.
4. Do you have the same outlook on the future?
After all, your woman may have absolutely no desire to get married but you want it so much. Then your relationship will never be as strong as it could be because of this major obstacle. It can be called a doubts relationship from now. You need to make sure that your long-term hopes, dreams, and desires coincide. Otherwise, most likely, you will have a future without each other.
5. Do you trust your partner and feel relaxed around them?
People in love shouldn’t control each other, or else they will want to run away from such relationships very quickly. If you trust your loved one and don’t analyze all her actions, then there are no doubts in your relationships. If you have any questions, it is better to ask them directly, without any hints. Thus, you will be happier.
6. Do you arouse the best qualities in each other?
Some relationships are frankly unhealthy: for example, when one partner humiliates and uses another. The worst thing is that many people consider such “love” to be absolutely normal. True love implies a good relationship of partners to each other and the desire to develop. Partners have to promote the development of each other, otherwise, the relationship simply will not make sense.
7. Are you honest about the past?
If you can open up to each other, not being afraid to talk about the past, then this also leads to trust in the relationship. You shouldn’t talk about your previous relationships in all the details, but you can talk about some of your sorrows or failures. If you can do it, then it is worth a lot. It means that neither you nor your woman has doubts.
Tips to overcome doubts about a relationship
You and your partner were incredibly happy together and you suddenly began to doubt your choice. Probably, you have thoughts about whether you really fit together so well. Maybe the partner is interested in someone else. If you don’t resolve doubts about the relationship, they can ruin everything.
1. Look for potential causes of your doubts
All relationships have periods of ups and downs. This is normal when some misunderstanding arises from time to time. The problems you may be dealing with may be related to finances, jealousy, doubt, and the fear of being left. And the loss of confidence in a relationship, long-term stress, or excessive negativity is more complex reasons.
2. Don’t jump to conclusions
Is it normal to have doubts in a relationship? Yes, but try to look at things from a realistic point of view and don’t immediately think about the worst. Even if you doubt something, you should discuss everything with your woman. Be careful and open to what your woman tells you but don’t make rapid-fire conclusions because it can lead to irreversible consequences.
3. Stop comparing
The more you compare yourself to others, the less happy you will be in relationships. This can lead to jealousy, resentment, and unnecessary irritation. If your woman wanted to be with someone else, she wouldn’t be with you. She is with you now and not with her ex. She loves you and prefers to spend time with you because she likes it.
4. Stop communication for a while
The test of separation is also a great way to test feelings. Talk to her and ask not to call you for a while. You need to seriously think about what to do next. When she leaves you alone, analyze how often you think about her, whether other women are more attractive in your opinion, etc. After you meet, remember what your reaction is. Did you want to hug and not give her to anyone else? Or were you indifferent?
5. Understand that all relationships are different
Having a bad experience in the past makes you wary of your current partner. However, you have to understand that all relationships are different. Don’t transfer emotions from your previous relationships to the current ones. Understand that your woman is a completely different person. She has a different point of view on life, a different attitude to things, different strengths and weaknesses.
6. Talk to each other
Try to forget negative emotions, look at the situation and your behavior from the other side. This is a good solution if you want to rebuild that good attitude that you had before. Find the time to talk about things each of you wants and needs to have in a relationship.
7. Look for positive in everything
Having doubts about relationship, sometimes we can pay too much attention to negativity and forget about the qualities that we like in a partner. Instead of focusing on shortcomings, be able to stop in time and notice all the good things that are present in your relationship. Concentrate your attention on things that you love about your woman and what she is ready for your sake.
8. Have dates
Emotional and physical intimacy is an integral part of any happy couple. So, how to remove doubts in a relationship? Plan romantic evenings, spend time together. This is a great way to improve relationships. The closer you are to each other emotionally and physically, the greater the trust between you.
9. Keep a diary
Yes, you should talk to your partner about your feelings. However, you can’t do this 24/7. It will be tiring for both of you. If you still want to speak out about something, then keep a diary. One study showed that people reduce emotional stress by writing their thoughts on paper. This will help.
10. Focus your attention on your woman
Show interest in her dreams, desires, hopes, fears, plans, views, etc. After all, in your partner, you see a mirror image of your qualities. Those traits that you notice and that attract you are what you believe in. You will begin to better accept yourself if you focus on your own and your woman’s positive sides. Are doubts in a relationship normal? Yes, doubts are normal even in healthy relationships. However, you should focus on the good qualities in yourself and your woman. Talk to a partner about your feelings and never stop working on creating strong relationships. We hope our tips will help you have happy relationships.
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