We all have been single. We all know how solitude feels. But sometimes, we are single for too long, and it turns into loneliness, and this feeling is usually very painful. We want to run away as far as possible from it. Strong people try to deal with it on their own, but they do it wrong and fail. Weaker people try to find an ally in their fight against depression in alcohol, cigarettes, TV, or computer games but also fail. Loneliness exists only in our minds, and no external factor can help us deal with it. Unless you are truly ready to find someone and stop being single, no one in the whole world will be able to help you. Sometimes we can feel lonely even when we are in society. Or loneliness appears when our partners temporarily go somewhere, and we stay alone at home.

But what if you don’t have a partner at all? What if you feel depressed about being single for so long? This topic is way more complicated. Many people from all around the world suffer from depression from being single. But why don’t they try to change their lives? Changing the whole life might not be the best option. As you may have guessed, there are many ways of how people try to solve their problems with loneliness. To find the best way of dealing with depression we, first of all, need to know why we are afraid of being single.

depression over being single

Why We Are Afraid of Being Single

Fear is an emotion common to all of us. True, depending on nature and life experience, we are afraid of completely different things. One of the most immense and difficult things to overcome is the fear of loneliness. Moreover, as a rule, we don’t find a clear designation of what loneliness really is. But living independently, without burdening yourself with the creation of a family, and being an outcast, say, in a work collective, is not at all the same thing. But what is the most frightening thing for us then? An obscure horror, which we cannot find a clear definition, drives us into a variety of companies, forces us to make uninteresting friends and date those whom we don’t love. Because someone once assured us that we should have many different people in our lives unless we want to die alone in the old age. Sounds very persuasive and horribly, right? But wait, why do you, an adult and an educated person, still believe that you have no right to choose your path? It turns out that we are afraid of what we truly love and what we strive for, and this is freedom.

The wild rhythm of modern life forces us to seek solitude, but as soon as we get what we want, all the internal demons crawl to the surface. For some time, we can keep them inside because our internal defense allows withstanding small doses of loneliness. Therefore, we are so afraid of solitude. We constantly need external motives to distract attention from internal experiences. If you turn on the TV quite loudly, it will be able to kill the voice of your soul, the same we can say about a society that often helps us for a time, but the panic horror will again return to our thoughts as soon as we find ourselves alone again.

It is a mistake to think that loneliness is a condition that will last a lifetime. This is the exception rather than the rule. If only recently you have got through a breakup with your loved one, you should not panic and immediately begin to seek a new relationship. Don’t be afraid to be alone forever. Firstly, the word “forever” is too abstract, and secondly, a temporary stay without a couple is a great reason to take care of yourself. When you were happy, you definitely didn’t have time to, for example, learn a new language, go on an exciting journey, or at least read a book that had been gathering dust on your shelf for a long time. Don’t put off the process of self-development in a long box because you have to prepare yourself for a new love.

Cons of Being Single

Being single is absolutely normal, but only if you use this time as a pit stop: you restore your internal forces and concentrate on your plans and goals and then dive into dating again. Even if you are not in the mood to go outside, there are still many options to find a woman online. Unfortunately, not everyone can end his or her solitude by searching for a single woman online or offline. Some of us stuck and remain single for too long, and then it turns into unbearable loneliness. If something like that has happened to you and you feel tired of being single, then you should read our small list of cons of being single to know what you will have to deal with.

Absence of intimacy

This is the biggest con among others since every single human being needs gentleness in his or her life. We need those small moments when we read a book together with our partner under the blanket in cold winter evenings, or we miss those moments when our partners bring coffee to us in the mornings, not because we want this coffee, but because this is something that our partners do only for us. The absence of intimacy is also the reason why single and lonely people have so many pets.

things to do when single and boredSocial stigmatization

Our society puts a low-quality mark on those who spend too much time alone and remain single. This begins from our schools and actually never ends. Single people, apart from suffering from loneliness, also face a cold social stigma. Sometimes it is next to impossible for them do deal with it alone.

Lack of support from the closest person

Even the most self-assured people in the world need to have someone who will have their backs. Humans are very social creatures, and it is not just enough to hear from friends their words of support, we need someone way closer, someone who will always be there for us. Usually, this person is our partner.

Feeling lonely all the time

Loneliness is what kills senior people, prevents developing children, and the worst nightmare for adults. At first, we always feel okay alone, but after a couple of days, loneliness starts eating our mood like rust eats iron. Very fast and mercilessly, we turn from happy to sad, from joyful to depressing. This happens because none of us is meant to be alone.

Being single have some pros

Nonetheless, it is not all that bad, since there are many ways to overcome the loneliness of being single. As we have mentioned before, loneliness is a terrible feeling you are single for too long. But how long is too long? You are the only one who can know how long is too long for you! Remember, we can neither always be single, nor with someone. People sometimes need time to rest from one another, so why to be afraid of, instead of using it to your own advantage?

Independence

Every nation on this planet has fought for it, and some are fighting even now, and you have it free of charge and efforts! An independent human is a strong human. This is why we are so attracted to independent men and women. You can use this time to achieve your own goals because no one will be able to distract you.

You are free from commitment

Commitments are ties, of course, we can’t live without them. But sometimes we feel that there are too many ties that drag us down, in this case, we must reload our lives, or we will face burnout. Being free from any commitments means that you have time to learn what you truly want in your life.

More time on your own needs and goals

How long have you been dreaming of a tour to Mexico? Or maybe you wanted to buy a new car, but there were always other “more important” matters? Congratulations, now your goals are finally at the forefront for you. Everything that you have dreamed about can come true. Since no one is there to tell you that it is too hot in Mexico and that your old car is still pretty decent. Take this time to live for yourself.

You can try other types of relationships

Trying something new is the best way to learn what you like and dislike in this life. Maybe you have always dreamed about trying something new in your nightlife, but your partner was conservative. Or maybe you want to try online dating and long-distance relationships. Every road is open to you now. You can always find a partner and create a family with him or her.

How to Fight Depression Over Being Single and Embrace Your Loneliness

When people suffer from depression over being single, they believe that they have nowhere to go while, in fact, they can go anywhere. To cope with being single, you just need to understand this small fact, and you will be happy. Actually, being single and happy is not that hard. Millions of people have learned to enjoy their solitude, so you can do this too. Read our list of 5 tips on how to be happy single.

1. Spend time with your friends

Now, when you are single, you can easily commit all your time to your friends. I have a female friend who spends almost every evening with her friends, and she is very happy. I actually have never seen her with a romantic partner, and she might be still a cherry pie. But those facts don’t drag her down, she enjoys her time and has nothing to be depressed about. For her, being single is better than being with someone. I am not talking that you should spend your whole life as she does, but at some point in our lives, we definitely should live like that.

how to be happy single2. Travel

Traveling is the best way to forget about your depression from being single. During your travel adventures, you will meet many different people. Some travelers even hunt for local beauties when they arrive in some countries. The best way to accept being single is to realize that you are single because you want to be single. For example, it is more accessible for you to travel and hunt for lovers during your adventures if you are single. Again, don’t be afraid of trying new things. Remember, you can go back to your house at any time you want, but I strongly doubt that there will be anything else apart from loneliness and depression.

3. Avoid antidepressants

When you fight depression over being single, you might think that antidepressants are a very good way to kill your depression once and for all. But this is a one-way road. The more you use antidepressants, the more you will need them in the future. This is a real addiction, and if you try to stop taking them, you will suffer from real withdrawal syndrome. The best antidepressant is the time that you spend with someone away from your home. Of course, there are situations when antidepressants can save your life, but in most cases, they just give you a false feeling of happiness.

4. Find new hobbies

In this world, it is important not to stay on the same page of life. Sometimes it is very hard to take a step further because you rarely get promoted on your job so on and so forth. But there is one great tool that not only makes you feel happy but also allows you to progress in your life. As you have guessed, this tool is your hobby. Finding a new hobby is one of the best things to do when single and bored. There are many options on what hobby to choose, make a list of your interests and things that you like more than anything else, and if you can turn this interest into the hobby, then congratulations, you are on a half-way out from your depression.

5. Buy a pet

Having a pet is another great way to deal with your depression. The logic here is very simple: a pet will require your time and attention. Thus, you will have less time to suffer from depression. Besides, a pet may utterly kill your loneliness. Spending time with animals heals, and this is a scientifically proven fact. It doesn’t have to be a dog or a cat. You can buy anything you like. But maybe you should consider taking a pet from an animal shelter. Yes, this will take more effort than just buying it from famous animal breeders, but the feeling that you've saved life will compensate it all. Note that both you and your future pet from the shelter had been lonely before you met each other. This is another factor that helps deal with depression since now it is two of you against the whole world.

We hope that now you know how to be single and happy. Of course, humans need communication, but we can’t always be ready for it and remain open to other people. Sometimes, we need to stay alone with ourselves to sort some things out. So, loneliness is not a bad thing, because it becomes bad if there is too much of it in your life. And, finally, the last-minute advice if you still suffer from depression and think that all your efforts are in vain. You should make a rule of changing something in your life. It can be something very small or big, but you have to change something every day. For example, today, instead of going back home from work, take a walk in the nearest park.

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