How to Decide Whether to Have a Baby: a Complete Guide
Now or never? Women ask themselves this question when it becomes obvious that there is less and less time to think. Motherhood today is a choice. But thoughts about the child often generate fear. Fear that the body and appearance will change, fear that because of a child the relationship with a loved one will become worse, that you will have to give up work and career. How to be and how to decide to have a baby?
HOW TO DECIDE IF YOU WANT A BABY?
Many parents believe that children are a necessary life experience, and many will also say that parental status consists of joys and difficulties. The decision about the desire and willingness to have a child is one of the most important in life. There is no right or wrong answer, because no one is obliged to have children just because they have reached a certain age. Think about your motives, evaluate your lifestyle and relationships with a partner to make the right decision for yourself and your family.
Actually, there are plenty of books and guides under the name “How to decide whether to have a baby?” or at all “How to decide if you want children?”, but thinking about giving birth to a child, realizing all the difficulties of motherhood - these factors are very challenging. Formerly, giving birth to a child was part of the generally accepted norm. And this norm was not only social: motherhood was a natural ending, as well as marriage. Today we can choose, and this is the greatest fortune, because the choice always personifies the freedom, the ability to build your own life beyond the limits of ready-made patterns and models, according to your personal feelings.
It is often that others know “better” when we need to have children and how many. And you understand that your nerves can’t take much more of this. Most often, we fall into psychosomatics, telling something like “I want to have a baby, but it isn’t going well”. Then we go for doctors, treat hard, examine. And with a pure heart we say to everyone: well, it just doesn’t work. That's a good reason to get all away.
If you recognize yourself, then first of all you need to decide whether you really want to have children now. Maybe the truth is you are not ready for this step. The main thing is to honestly admit it to yourself, discuss it with your beloved man, find out what he thinks or feels about this. And if both of you don’t know how to decide to have a child, maybe you should together visit the psychologist.
REASONS TO HAVE A BABY
The main question is not “How to have a baby?”, but “What for?”. First of all, we must understand that everything in our life is relative. On the one hand, you want to live for yourself, buy an apartment, make a career, and even then you don’t really want to limit yourself. On the other hand, you can’t get anywhere without children: no one is reluctant to be young moms and dads, but on the contrary, we want to be young grandparents in the future.
There can be a lot of benefits from children, and even before you’ll need that “glass of water”. A dozen reasons why you should have a baby:
1. Children lower blood pressure
Recent studies prove that motherhood and fatherhood do lower blood pressure. The study involved 200 couples - with and without children - and the results showed that couples with children had much lower pressure. How is this possible? Parents have a dynamic rhythm of life, which carries more stress, and stress increases pressure. However, children have a special influence on their parents. Scientists attribute this to a sense of inner satisfaction and meaningfulness of life, which is often present among parents.
2. No criticism
If a young mother gains a little extra weight, well, twenty pounds or so, no one can criticize her for letting herself go. She sacrificed her own metabolism for a child - what a sainted lady!
3. Kids save your money
The fact that having children is expensive is true, but at the same time, the savings are also great. Times change! Before, the only way to earn something while having a child was to send them to work in the mine. And now you just need to settle the document problems. Nobody says that a child is a means of enrichment, but these financial receipts will really help you to bear many associated costs!
4. Children will not let you lose your temper
Even if many people believe that their nerves are all shot because of the children, they are wrong. Recent studies have shown that children improve the mental health of people in later life: older people without children showed worse results in answering questions about their mental health than those who have offspring.
Accordingly, people with children are happier and, in general, more satisfied, which is good for their mental health!
5. Children guarantee that your desire to learn something new will not be lost
Anyone who has ever dealt with children knows that their favorite word is “why.” Children are always looking for answers to the most impossible questions. Why do cats’ eyes glow in the dark? What does "it’s going to rain" mean? Why do mom and dad sometimes close in the bedroom?
You have to strain your brains and come up with the most realistic answer, and, as a result, remember your school knowledge. This won’t hurt a bit.
6. Thanks to the kids you look sexier
Did you think your attraction was the result of having cute puppies around? Children make you even more attractive! Young mothers and fathers, as well as pregnant women are the sexiest creatures in the world! They shine from happiness and radiate dedication and maturity as well, which is very attractive. Everyone will tell you that.
7. Kids are a good alibi
It seems to you that you have not seen your friends since they had children? But the reason is not only a multitude of responsibilities. Children can simply serve as an excuse. Parents often do not want to go to events or meetings and use children as an alibi to stay at home.
Your friends sent a message saying they cannot come at the last moment? They, most likely, were not going to come from the beginning!
8. Children increase self-confidence
All parents know how self-esteem rises when their child calls them the best dad or best mom in the world. Such compliments have a very positive effect on your self-confidence, which, in turn, improves your mood and well-being.
9. Children remind you of hidden treasures
When was the last time you looked at the stars or lay down on the floor to look at the clouds? Children are always discovering these hidden and at the same time such ordinary treasures that may seem meaningless at first glance. Join them in exploring the world, like you have never seen it before. You will be surprised how quickly your cynicism and frustration will disappear when you see the world through the eyes of a child.
10. Kids just make you happy
For a long time parents have believed that children make them happy, but now it has been scientifically proven. Recent studies show the connection between motherhood (fatherhood) and happiness. And not only that: the older your children, the happier you become. This is because it becomes easier with older children, stress decreases and only happiness remains. Children are a long-term investment in happiness!
11. Remember childhood
Regardless of whether or not your childhood was happy, a child will give you the opportunity to plunge into it again. Do you remember that carefree time? It is twice more pleasant to experience these feelings as an adult.
12. Kids are cute
Cats are considered to be the cutest creatures in the world. These fluffy pets are so irresistible that you always want to squeeze and pet them.
But children (at least your own) are not even comparable to cats. They are so charming, even if they do not have this supernatural beauty, there is nothing to do but roll your eyes countless times and sigh: "That is so cute!"
WHEN TO HAVE A BABY?
Is it actually possible to answer the question “When is the right time to have a baby?” Nowadays many families incorrectly approach the issue when to have children, and this leads to bad consequences that harm both them and their children. The first thing you need is to decide why you need children. Since without this you cannot make yourself and your family happier. It’s better to make a choice in order to protect yourself and your kids. If you have decided that you definitely want children, then you can start thinking about the best time to have a baby.
How to decide whether it’s necessary to have a baby up to a certain age? Most women are sure that the best time to have a baby biologically is when you are under 30. This a separate issue. In many countries, it is a custom to marry up to 25 years and give birth to 30. But the fact is the average age to have a baby varies between 28-36 years. In general, everyone has their own age, both for creating a family and for giving birth to a child. But, by default, the old clichés still exist.
These are the main factors on the basis of which it can be said for sure that a woman is ready for motherhood:
● You often think about pregnancy, but always look for BUT.
● Your man also wants a child and will support any decision you make.
● Relationship with a husband or loved one is fairly well established, you are confident in it.
● You clearly understand that your thoughts about motherhood are not influenced by society, and are not oppressed by your close aides.
And remember that, in fact, there are no generally accepted rules and "the best age to have a baby." Your own commitment to this step plays a much bigger role.
HOW MUCH DOES IT COST TO HAVE A BABY?
Diapers are what you will constantly need in the first years of a child's life. Mountains of diapers. This, of course, is not a secret to anyone. But, most likely, you greatly underestimate how many diapers you will eventually have to buy. So coupons, discounts, promotions on diapers will no longer seem so ridiculous and will become very useful. Other unplanned expenses may come from nowhere. For example, music lessons, babysitting services, country trips with the class, even the cost of treatment can take aback.
Advice: spend less money on clothes that still wears out quickly, and keep in mind the unexpected (or unexpectedly high) charges for a child who can cost you a pretty penny.
If you have even more questions or doubts after reading the article, it’d be useful to go to several meetings with a psychologist or psychotherapist. So you can quickly find your problems and make a decision based on the characteristics of your situation, which will help to answer the question “How to decide whether to have a baby?”
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