How to Cancel a Date Politely

Some people are so stubborn that they don't even want to reckon with someone else’s opinion when it does not coincide with their one. When you are invited on a date, but you don’t want to go there, refusing is not so simple. If you want to be polite, and you are afraid to hurt someone’s feelings, our tips will come in handy.

If you do not want to go on a date at all and are full of determination, it is better to say the firm "No." In this case, the interlocutor will understand what needs to be understood, and will not have any illusions in this regard. But why girls looking for dates still reject guys, and what can be the reasons for canceling the date at the last minute?

Why Sometimes People Cancel Dates

Each of us has our reasons why sometimes we cannot or do not want to go on a date. Let's imagine you have met your soulmate online, but they have rejected you. Why can it be so?

1. No need to give up immediately. Send them a message like, “I still think we should meet at least once. Do you often find someone who has so much in common as we do you with you?” While all the guys whine, "You are so attractive, I like you so much!” to win a girl’s heart, you need to emphasize why exactly you suit her, and your relationship has the future. Because the reason can be that you were not decisive enough, and the person on the other side of the screen simply waits for you to prove your determination.

2. Another reason why women cancel dates can be an unsuccessful first date. "Why do they agree for the second one then?" you ask. It can take some time to consider the pros and cons and weigh the first impression you have made on the girl. But even if her first reaction “no” is not forever, you should neither insist right now nor make scenes. In such cases, it is better to relax and lag behind for a while than to enter into a tedious discussion. If she changed her mind once, maybe she can make it for the second time if you prove to be a good match for her.

3. Maybe the strategy of communication that you chose was inappropriate for the time, place or mood. For example, if you bumped at your acquaintance in a queue and suggested right away to go somewhere, it is no surprise she did not answer "yes" immediately. Maybe she was in a rush and wanted to think over the decision and see whether her plans allow going on a date. Even after you asked her again and were finally rejected, do not give up, it was unexpected for her, and you should not blame the person. After all, if suddenly your old friend ran into you and suggested to go for a date as if it weren't you who did not communicate for years, how would you react?

4. Simple plans, busy schedule or life priorities can serve other reasons why even on platforms to online meet girls, you are not guaranteed to receive consent. You are not the central figure of the universe, people have their lives, plans, dreams of going outside the city or tickets for vacation. Even staying at home and binge-watching series is a must weekend plan for someone, their sanctuary that you cannot step into or violate. Respect other people and what they can care for except for building relationships. After all, many modern women arrange their priorities so that career goes first and foremost, while going on dates is not their main resolution, to say the least.

5. The last but actually the most obvious reason why the person keeps coming up with excuses to cancel the date is that you do not attract them. But he or she doesn’t dare to say it directly. You should accept the fact that a whole category of people would never reject you straightforwardly. It is easier to for them to name one and a million good reasons to cancel a date than to hurt your feelings. It can happen in case the girl likes someone else but is not quite sure about the status of their relationship so is not able to give you any promises. Or it can happen because of your values, attitude, even zodiac signs mismatch. The situation when the only thing someone doesn’t like about you is your appearance is actually several times worse. As it can force you to change something about your style, image, self-perception desperately seeking the attention of someone. But the truth is, the problem doesn’t lie in your hair color or excess weight, you will not get them. Just remember that someone will fall in love with you just the way you are.

Main Reasons to Cancel a Date

The popularity of Tinder and the format of dating through social networks is growing, so the likelihood that you are going on a date with a complete stranger is quite high. In order not to risk your own safety or in case you are not sure you want to go on a date with the person – we give you some obvious reasons to cancel a date.

1. They take too much of your time

Millennials are already constantly too busy to instantly respond to messages on social networks, so a slight delay in a response is the norm. But if your interlocutor is so impatient that they begin to get angry without receiving an answer in the next five minutes, this is a bad sign. Pay attention if they send several messages in a row with a small interval, drawing your attention to the first question - this may indicate that you have been presented with a lot of requirements in advance, and then things can get worse.

2. They ask too many personal questions

Getting to know each other better is an absolutely normal idea, but there are certain boundaries that should not be crossed. Be careful with someone who wants to know your exact address, see your nude photos or get other important information. An attacker can use this information against you and even start blackmailing if something goes wrong on the date itself, and you do not live up to their expectations. Even in real life, violation of the personal space can convince you to forget about meeting with a person who crosses the limits. And no need to think over how to cancel a date without being rude. If someone doesn’t care about your feelings, why should you?

3. Making plans for the future

It is impossible to fall in love with a person after just several evenings. If your boyfriend or girlfriend starts talking about marriage and children before you get to know each other properly, most likely, this means that they are too intrusive. Keep in mind that if you give them a chance and really go on a date, you will encourage such behavior, and you can easily become a victim of a stalker.

4. If the date spot seems suspicious

The first date with someone whom you still don’t know must necessarily take place in a public place, such as a restaurant or cafe. If the person you are texting with does not want to appear in public and continues to insist that you should just come to their home or to a quiet remote place, this is rather suspicious. Even if the person is a terrible introvert and does not like to be in a noisy place, you can always choose a walk along the street or a small cozy movie theater, and if a guy or a girl resists this, they may have their own hidden motive.

5. They stalk you on all social networks

If you've been chatting for just an hour, but they have already found you on all social platforms up to your Netflix account and are actively asking for your phone number, this is alarming. It doesn't seem like he just wants to know more about you. Most likely, they are trying to get as much information as possible that they can use, so do not confirm requests on social networks and continue communication only on the site that you've chosen together. How to cancel the first date with a stalker if you have already agreed to one? After you explain why you cannot be together, block them on all social media and check for a suspicious fake account following you from time to time as it can be them.

Why You Should Never Ghost Girls

Rejecting someone does not mean at all that you can hide under the simple “maybe,” although, in reality, you’re just afraid to say “no.” Just get your thoughts together and be honest. If you squeeze out something resembling “maybe,” then you only double the attempts of the girl to conquer you and make the inevitable refusal even more unpleasant for both. Do not mumble, it will be worse for both of you. Just say, "No, thanks." These simple words will solve the situation without any difficulties. Of course, be direct but not rude. Ghosting is not about trying not to hurt someone, as well as canceling a date is not about talking up. If you are worried about how to cancel a date with a girl without offending her, try to do it quickly. The faster you clear up the situation, the sooner she can move on. Do not be rude and say cruel things, the best way to cancel date is to just be honest.

If you really care not to offend a person, then lying or disappearing not saying anything becomes especially seductive. However, to come up with a nonexistent girlfriend or a spouse is not the best idea, especially if the rejected person finds out the truth someday. This can help with a stranger in a cafe, but if this is someone from a closed circle, you should not lie to get rid of them, pretend to be busy or ignore their messages while posting pictures of going out with friends. Even if you hide your IG stories from them, they have friends or other accounts, or you can give yourself away by a simple slip of the tongue one day.

How to Cancel a Date Politely

It is important to understand why you do not like the person and want to refuse them. Don't you like their habits and character traits? Interests? Appearance? Is it really your desire to refuse, or it is your friend's advice? If it’s a trifle, then we would advise giving any person a chance. But if you are really sure that this is not your type, here are tips on how to cancel a date politely.

Refuse gently

Consider how you can refuse a person a date politely, gently, so that they do not take offense (although this, of course, is their problem if someone gets offended). Do not refer to any personal qualities of the girl or a guy, if you are not trying to make them a compliment, though, just say that you can’t go, give a reason. If it is good enough, the applicant for a meeting with you will understand everything, and vice versa, if you say that you just don’t want anything right now, this will further spur the person to actively persuade. Psychologists recommend the next formula how to cancel a date nicely: a compliment + a statement itself + a compliment ("You seem a very nice person. Actually, I don’t think I am in a state to start a relationship now because I want to focus on my work. After all, I am sure such an interesting person as you will find another great match").

Cast aside doubts

It is necessary to talk decisively about your refusal to meet, so as not to awaken in the applicant’s heart the hope that you will change your mind or that she or he will be able to convince you of the opposite. In no case do not succumb to persuasion because it will make both of you worry and nervous. Say it directly and with confidence. If you have made a decision, do not be afraid to pronounce it and refrain from further explanations not to lose your position. Explain that you do not want to go on a date shortly, without excess details because the more you dive into it, the deeper your doubts will be.

Say what you want to say

If you are still not sure whether you want to go on a date with the person or not, and you need to think for a while, just say so - they will understand. After all, this is true, and sincere words are always better than the sweetest lie. You will have nothing to reproach then. For example, if a decisive girl has asked you out and said that you have a week to think over this proposal when the term ends, you can text her or meet to say that you need some more time or that you were so busy you did not even weigh all pros and cons of starting to date someone new. Of course, a week is a lot, and if you haven't decided till that moment, chances are you will not gain any more confidence in your choice. But the point is, you should not be afraid, your honesty and openness will charm the interlocutor. People appreciate when we do not hide the emotions but simply admit that we are all humans.

Voice the reasons for the denial, whatever they are

And even though, at first glance, they seem insignificant, there is no need to think up serious reasons for not dating, otherwise, you’ll get confused in your own words. But you don’t want to be caught lying, you don’t want to be considered a ghost, do you? Then tell only the truth. And do not overdo it with details or personal statements. Never tell someone you rejected them because you did not like their height, weight or appearance. In this case, it is better to come up with another reason. After all, appearance cannot be the only reason because the external picture is not what we fall in love with. Be honest with yourself and admit that there must be something else about the person that pushes you away, even if that is their inner energy.

The date can be rescheduled

It seems that you would like to go on a date, but you cannot because of a lack of time. In this case, do not refuse, just offer to postpone your romantic meeting to another day. Think and decide together what day and what time will suit both of you. How to text after a cancel date? In this case, you should do it first. Do not wait that someone will ask you out again and again, and you will just reject them and wait for the comfortable moment and the right mood. Now it is your responsibility to write to the person first and come up with a concept of a date. Then all the harshness of the initial rejection will be smoothed.

Examples of How to Cancel a Date

Refusing a meeting is an exciting topic. On the one hand, it’s a strain to go out with a person whom you don’t really like. On the other hand, we don’t want to hurt anyone's feelings or seem rude. How to refuse a date correctly?

1. "Hi, thanks for the invitation. It sounds really nice, but I’m afraid I cannot make it with you. I am currently clearing things out with another person, and my heart is not free." Be consistent, friendly, and decisive. It is better to immediately make it clear to a person that you are not interested in communication than to go on a date and suffer all evening in the company of a person you do not care about.
2. "To not waste time, I do not think we quite match each other. Just wish you find your perfect soulmate, bye." To make it clear that you have made the final decision, do not postpone the conversation and do not say what you think.
3. "I don’t go on dates with employees" or "I have a partner." Think of the reason for your refusal. If there are no reasons other than the fact that you don’t like the person, limit yourself to a neutral phrase, "Thank you, but I do not like dates with people I barely know/ I do not have time."
4. "It was nice of you to ask me out, but I prefer not to date people from the Internet." The refusal should be as brief as possible, otherwise, you can say something that you do not mean, just to fill an unpleasant pause. Do not say phrases such as “maybe another time” or “I'm sorry.” This may lead them to the idea that they should be persistent.
5. "Nothing personal. I am not in a mood to go out today, sorry" or "I see you want us to be more than friends, but this is not quite what I am looking for right now."

The situation looks a little more complicated if this person is your old acquaintance, a friend of your friends or a person with whom you will meet from time to time in the company or at work. In this case, the refusal should be extremely polite. You can tell that you like them, but for a number of personal reasons, you cannot accept the invitation. Try not to explain what the reasons are.

Rejecting a date is a stressful experience for both the rejected person and one who tries not to offend them. When someone tries to make you happy, invests time and effort, the only right option is to refuse them tactfully. If you don’t like the person, this is not a reason to treat them rudely and break their psyche (yes, this can be even applied to adults, and it is after sharp refusals in adolescence that people can get really hurt). It’s important to make it clear that your “no” is “no” and not “maybe someday.”

In the long run, just say that your heart is occupied. Most people will understand you. Many people suggest, by hook or by crook, to refuse a date, to refer to employment, to switch the topic or to come up with our excuses. Forget about it! Inventing tricks will give you only a temporary respite and will offend a person if they find out about everything. You should either tell the truth or if you’re lying, lie that you already like someone else. This is the only reason to take rejection calmly.