Top 10 Signs You Are Dating a Drama Queen and How to Handle It

They can be your friends, relatives, sisters, and even partners. Yes, we will talk about drama people. Their personality type forces them to overreact, throw tantrums and manipulate. Not all of them have their nervous system arranged this way, and your dramatic girlfriend can be a result of the wrong upbringing, social inadequacy and past relationship where her partner allowed her everything she wanted. One way or another, if you love her, you will have to learn how to deal with a drama queen girlfriend.

This applies not only to calming her down when she panics, feels tremendous fear, anxiety or just uses your kind character to achieve her goals. If you want to be a perfect boyfriend but not lose your last nerve cells in the fight with her mental disorders, you should approach the problem globally and help her recover from being overly dramatic.

Who Are Drama Queens?

These people love to be in the center of attention, attract people so that they could complain about their problems or tell about any minor detail of what has happened to them during the day. They consider themselves the center of the universe and that is why they do not bother to control their emotions.

What is a drama queen? If they feel sad, they will cry out loud and want everyone to sympathize with them. When they are happy or in love, they will scream about feelings. But this can also be applied to jealousy and the whole specter of negative emotions. In case you disappoint them, you will suffer from the real tantrums, will be accused of all the sins and then experience a sense of guilt. Because they will manipulate you into thinking you are the core of all problems, and something is wrong with you, not them.

Actually, three characteristics of a drama queen can be turned both to the benefit and to the detriment. These three major aspects of a drama queen personality are assertiveness, theatricality, and suggestibility. Gradually inspiring the drama queen with what you expect from her, the point is that it would seem to her that this is her idea, and you are ready to follow her lead and, in general, are completely delighted with her ingenuity. Small fluctuations on your part are only welcomed, as a hysterical woman will pamper her leadership vanity.

If you apply a bit of imagination, you will be able to turn your sex life into a theater where your young lady is assigned the role of prima (in fact, the main puppeteer is you). The main thing in your case is not to overdo it. No pressure, remember, she may think that this was her idea because drama queens want to dominate and receive praise for how genius they are.

Sources of a Drama Queen Personality

She is emotional. And this both is her strength and weakness. You will never feel bored, but what are the price of such a bright personality and constant swirl of emotions? It is not always easy to recognize the drama queen on a single ladies dating site or even after a few meetings. But when you start dating seriously, you may notice her dramatic nature and ample reaction to practically everything. Let’s talk about the roots of such behavior.

They haven't become drama queens; they are born drama queens. Many girls with such a type of character are not manipulating intentionally and, believe us, do not even suspect that their actions irritate others. They were born this way (although some ladies successfully use tantrums for personal gain and a certain grain of calculating may be present in their behavior). But this is not a desire to ruin your life. This is just a type of nervous system. But do not forget about how quickly she can calm down from your gentle look or a fleeting touch. How radiates joy and happiness from your attention. How interesting it is to discuss a movie or a book with her. Dating a drama queen, you can experience a whole range of emotions just in one day because she is a woman of extremities.

Their behavior is pure emotions. They don't know how to control their emotions. No logic, no common sense. A strange idea crawled into her head, and she has already made a whole controversy theory out of it. And with every minute her thoughts seem to her more and more realistic. An hour later, she sincerely believes that her fantasy is more than true, that you neither love her nor appreciate her, nor want to be with her. And she continues to seek confirmation of this in your behavior from the moment you meet. And if you do not provide her with support, she will be a rage. Because this is the result of her motions which dictate all her actions. Just at some period of her life, a sad event made her mentally unstable or she was simply not taught how to control her feelings. And now she pours them out at everyone she meets.

The wrong upbringing. Such women, as a rule, were brought up in families where they had complete freedom. There are no restrictions. Where any whim was fulfilled either from great love or vice versa, from its lack. Her parents could be busy working people who did not have time to show their affection with hugs, physical connection, touches or words of love. Instead, they were buying everything she wanted and fulfilled all her wishes in those rare cases when they were spending time together. Or, in a situation she is the only or the youngest child in a family, all of the attention was given to her. She got used to being the main focus for others and now simply cannot understand that other adults may have other interests apart from listening to her or are not ready to tolerate her tantrums is general.

The goal of such women’s tantrums is to attract attention. Actually, most often a stupid method, but often in their brain, it is considered the only possible one. A woman screaming at her husband, accusing him of cheating, arranging scandal scenes on the street is, in fact, lonely and abandoned. At least it seems to her that she is, even if it doesn't correspond to reality. The main goal is to get love through attention and fulfillment of desires. It’s like children making cries in the middle of the store because of a toy. In this case, a drama queen is a conscious manipulator, and her behavior should not be justified at all. Do not let her use such methods because the woman will use them against you in any argument causing the feeling of guilt.

A congenital type of nervous response. Some people react to the outer stimuli brighter and faster than others. It is normal behavior for them that may lead to disorders and mental health problems in case they do not learn how to control their emotions. The disease reaches its peak only under the influence of education and in the absence of constraining factors. In a word, a hysterical wife is most likely your creation. Even if happy parents handed the girl to you like that, you allowed her to keep her old fighting skills.

10 Drama Queen Signs

It cannot be that you have never met a woman of this type. You may even have made friends with her, but it is unlikely to end well because the drama queen is essentially a vampire, and you must either have inexhaustible energy to feed her or be a mental state that is too tough for her to breakthrough.

Beauty attracts while the behavior repels. As a rule, this is a woman with a bright appearance, if not beautiful, then unusual, with lively eyes and an expressive voice that you simply cannot resist but listen. And this is the first trap. With genuine acting intonations, the drama queen will tell you how she woke up in the morning, drank coffee, got dressed and went to the office. On the way, a series of events happened to her in which there was nothing special. But she will tell you all of them, and you will be fascinated to listen because the tone of her narrative suggests that something incredible is about to happen. After half an hour, you will realize that you have just listened to how her day went. Congratulations, you have just wasted time and a certain amount of emotions.

Longing for the emotions of others. Although the drama queen definition differs from that of the emotional vampire, they are quite similar, and the features of both can even exist in the same person. The thing is that the queen of drama is sure: every shade of her mood is priceless and deserves the close attention of the public. From the first minute of the meeting, she will tell in detail about her feelings about this evening, this cup of coffee and the weather outside. She will try to get the most out of you, she wants the responses, and you will feel squeezed out by the end of the conversation, as if you were watching an extremely nervous show, having your mouth sealed.

Being quite insensible to the emotions of others. Everything that you have to say, your personal opinion and knowledge of the subject do not matter to her, it will be reveling in the sounds of her voice. She is absolutely indifferent to the feelings of the interlocutor, if you try to get closer to her, you will understand that everything she needs is a listener. What does drama queen mean? She will hear you only when a cue is needed to continue the story. For example, she wants to cause aggression so that you offend her. Then she may use it saying that you are awful and make her mentally suffer, do not watch your mouth and apply psychological violence to her.

Scandal out of nothing is her vocation. You said something wrong, you said nothing, gave her a strange look or laughed at the wrong time. Anger and resentment will spill over your head suddenly and inexorably. It may seem that you are her lover or eternal debtor - the requirements will be so exorbitant and strange. But she will cry with real tears, even if the emotions behind them are just acting, and you have to apologize and somehow atone.

The desire to be in the spotlight. It is one of the most striking drama queen signs. Drama queens want and love to be in the public eye. They openly show off their new clothes or accessories to anyone who is willing to listen to them. With the help of cunning, such personalities will direct any conversation closer to what they need, launching gossip or forcing the interlocutor to be interested in them (a sad look, demonstratively complaining, asking a rhetorical question, etc.). In other words, the drama queens will do and say anything to shift the spotlight on themselves.

Tantrums. Unpredictable, unreasonable and immature outbursts of anger are normal only until you are 7 years old. The drama queen takes the proverb, “Age is just another number” to a new level, preserving childhood habits for years, and sometimes even until the end of her life. Tantrums are another way to attract attention. Despite her age, the drama queen continues to believe in the irrational idea that the world revolves around her. And if she does not receive “deserved” attention, she is ready to quickly stage the scene to correct the situation.

Always assume the worst. Sometimes in life, there are events that throw us back. A rational person will carefully analyze their failures and take appropriate measures. And the drama queen, on the contrary, can hardly be called a sober-minded person. She will refuse any logical reaction and immediately decide that the worst has happened. Are you late for the meeting? She will decide that you do not care about her. Need to reschedule a load due to work? She will think that you want to leave her. They can be called pessimists more than realists, and the glass is neither half empty nor half full. For them, it is empty and will always be because they panic without a reason.

The emotional reaction to absolutely everything. Common sense does not affect the thoughts of the drama queen or her behavior in any way. On the contrary, she reacts to everything that she does not enjoy, like a small child. If your girlfriend is the queen of drama, then they are simply unable to calmly discuss issues. Why? The answer is obvious: everything that causes them emotions necessarily manifests itself in the form of impulsive and illogical behavior. So, irrational actions, going from being completely calm to dissatisfied in minutes and accusing you in everything are the signs of a drama queen. Because emotions are what dictate their whole existence.

Craving for conflicts and their initiation. If the drama queen gets bored, she “shakes the atmosphere,” creating more drama. Her goal is simple - to rekindle emotions and force people to retaliate. This is the perfect recipe for creating a conflict situation. For those who do not like conflicts or are indifferent to them, such behavior seems pointless. Sensitivity is another weakness of the drama queens, with the help of which they can explain their illogical actions. So, when she notices that the person is vulnerable to negativity and can be provoked for offends and screams, she will find a reason to argue and then will even force the person to apologize.

Protracted conflict. When a conflict is only beginning, the drama queen tries to make it last as long as possible. For her, it's like an emotional drug. Even if each of the parties is ready to make a truce, the drama queen will try to cause more negativity in every possible way with her usual and illogical actions. This type of behavior is a threat, especially if it affects people close to you, such as family members or friends. Whether you realize it or not, in such a situation, the drama queen needs your energy and emotion to live. And there is no need for additional explanations. It all looks very strange, but predictable.

Dating a Drama Queen: How to Handle It?

The advantages of the relationship are obvious: strong emotions, intimacy, trust, hopes, dreams. They are worth the risk. But they also require caution because strong things can cause addiction. In short, the sign of addiction is the desire to continue to do something, despite the chaos and pain that it causes. Drama in a relationship can also cause this state. In case you notice that you do not longer love your partner but cannot leave because you are addicted to the emotions they give you, even if they are negative, this is a bad sign. But how to deal with a drama queen so that the situation doesn’t get so crucial?

Change your approach. If your behavior model is similar to the template, you should find out how significant this negative is. When its value is high, and you remain in a relationship, perhaps drama attracts you more than a person. Everyone has bad days or bad weekends - that's fine. If you are in a relationship with a person who is not indifferent to you, there will be moments that you cannot be proud of. However, patterns should be alarming. It is stereotyping that separates “understandable” failure in behavior from a deeper problem in which behavior becomes similar to dependence. How to handle a drama queen? Constantly try new ways to calm her down and stop manipulations, otherwise, she will get used to you acting one way and manipulate more.

Be ready to cope on your own. How much time do you spend on recovering from the drama, managing it or avoiding it? Do you drink alcohol, exercise, take painkillers or sedatives to deal with emotions? Relationships require work, they will have problems and, possibly, drama. But if this happens often and spoils life, why do you continue to do this? Yes, problems do happen, but they should be an exception to the rule. If you are always in confrontation or arguing about something, it might be time to break up. Because the drama queen meaning implies that dealing with her is hard, and you have to either work on yourself and help her change or give up.

Moment of choice. If you love this woman, if you admire her and the only thing that poisons your life is her hysteria, you will have to learn to deal with these tantrums. If you are not sure that you want it, run away right now. Her manipulations will not stop, they will accompany your life until death. And the choice is to read the instructions for dealing with hysteria and translate it into reality. Or split and find yourself another beloved one. Decide for yourself whether you are ready to continue relationships with this kind of person. Do you still feel that you like her? Then, read on.

What you shouldn’t do to calm her down? The only thing that can never be done if a woman is in the middle of a tantrum is to leave her alone. A man, based on his own experience, thinks this way: I will move to a safe distance and give her time to calm down. And then I will return quietly and find her normal again. No! That doesn’t work like this. If you see that the woman acts hysterically, the first thing you should do is to tell her, “I am with you, I am here, and we will figure it out now.” Do not leave her alone with her fears or negativity because the main reason she started all that was seeking your attention.

How to quench a tantrum? What to do if a person is a hysteria? At the source of any hysteria are insecurity and fear. Something seemed to the woman, she had a lot of questions, she suddenly doubted your love, fidelity, God knows what else - and boils in the cauldron of her horror. She would be glad to get out of the emotional vicious circle, but she cannot. Therefore, the first thing you should do is find out what she is afraid of. So directly ask, “What are you worried about? What could happen, what are you afraid of?” And be ready to listen and help.

Many men develop Stockholm syndrome in the relationships with drama queens. And for some reason, they love them even more. Such women probably irritate, are hard to deal with and sometimes, cause real emotional exhaustion. But men get addicted to such vivid emotions, like to a drug. Of course, this is not normal and healthy. You cannot continue living like this, and you should either change the behavior of your beloved or leave. In case you feel morally strong enough to take the responsibility of living with a drama queen, you can try to reeducate them, and maybe you will receive a loving, happy, confident and bright woman as a reward.