How to Break Up Without Breaking Her Heart: a 10-Step Guide

Unfortunately, scientists have not yet come up with a magic bulb that starts blinking red every time you see problems in your relationship. Some alarming signals can be quite difficult to see but this does not mean that they don’t exist.

How to know that it's time to break up?

Criticism

Constant nagging from one side indicates clearly the possible problems. Happy couples are unlikely to blame each other. In the case of mutual discontent, they discuss the problem. Feel the difference, "You never make the bed!", this is a reproach. “Could you make the bed in the morning? ", it's a request. Criticism towards the partner is not constructive, it provokes a quarrel or, worse, helps accumulate resentment. The accumulated grievances can lead to a large-scale scandal or even to a breakup.

Contempt

Any manifestation of disrespect whether it is mockery or a sneering comment, indicates the beginning of the end. How to know when it’s time to break up? Long and happy relationships cannot exist without a deep mutual sense of respect, so maybe this time has already come. Contempt, experienced in relation to the partner, destroys the ability and, most importantly, the desire to empathize. By the way, the ability to empathize plays the role of a kind of social cement that binds human society. The absence of empathy can destroy any connection between people.

Excuses

When is it time to break up? It’s time if you start feeling the need to explain yourself in your desire to play an online game or meet with friends. Excuses are a means of defense. What kind of harmony can be in the relationship if you feel the need to explain yourself? In addition, the desire to explain yourself can be a sign of an attempt to avoid responsibility, which is also not common among couples who have stable, long-term relationships. A serious relationship is always a responsibility.

Escape

Let’s imagine that one of the partners simply stops speaking during a quarrel. This may be due to the desire not to escalate and so on. However, is it time to break up? To resolve the conflict, it's not enough just to avoid the conflict. In this case it would be better to say something like, "You know, I'm too upset to speak constructively." If you just "run away" in the middle of the conversation and hope that everything will settle down by itself, this indicates great problems in your relationship.

A 10-step guide to breaking up without hurting her.

This is really a difficult task and not everyone knows how to break up with a girl without hurting her. Probably, you are one of those people who try to avoid various hysterics and scandals in every possible way, but there are times when it is almost impossible to do. For example, when she has hit your car or "accidentally" deleted several important documents from your laptop.

But all that is not so important, compared to the time when you realize that your relationship has reached a dead end and it's time for you to break up. Sometimes the girl is the first who understands that, she leaves you, and you become a recluse for the coming year. But there are times when you need to start this conversation and eventually bring finality to your relationship. It is important to do this so that after your conversation she doesn’t feel severely hurt or she does not think that instead of a finality you can have a continuation. Here everything depends on you and your knowledge of how to break up with someone without hurting them. There are several points that are desirable to observe when breaking up with a girl.

1. Make sure that you really want to do that

Might you have just flipped out again because of her unreasonable hysteria? Think twice about it, maybe you should not act hastily. Well, you do not need to sit with a bottle of whiskey in a dark room and remember the best moments of your life together, although you may need that. To break off the long-term relationship is easier and faster than you think. You must be sure that after a while you will not want to get her back.

2. Set up a face-to-face meeting

If you are still confident that it's time to act decisively, arrange a meeting. The most important thing: you should meet face-to-face with her to say that everything is over. Only cowards break up via the phone call or, even worse, via an e-mail, or a message on Facebook. And, sadly, more and more men believe that this is quite an acceptable way but in contrast to you, they don’t worry about how to break a relationship without hurting. If you are scared by the prospect of breaking up the relationship in person, do not start them. Set the place and time, and give her all your attention: you should not check an email or write messages during such a conversation. She has deserved a bit of attention after all. You will be embarrassed, it's true. But being a man means giving your woman everything, including respect, when it comes to such a serious matter.

3. Say it like it is

A breakup is not a case when you can hide something or not tell. Your girlfriend will definitely want to hear the reason why you have decided to break up with her, so be ready to tell all the reasons. A stupid answer like, "I do not feel it anymore" is like saying nothing. This is the answer of a coward, a narcissist but not a true man. You don’t need to be completely meticulous and write out all the reasons on a piece of paper, just remember about them. So, your conversation will be more constructive, and everything will go much faster. One of the signs that you have broken up with the girl wrong is when the conversation has already taken place, and she still does not understand why everything is so and not otherwise. You need to end the relationship so that the girlfriend understands why this has happened. She may disagree, but she will understand everything have something to work on.

4. Be tactful

You need clarity but not cruelty. There are no so many easy breakup lines. And if you still insult or mock her, it's absolutely not good at all. Now is not the time to say that her favorite dress makes her look fat. If possible, remember everything that was good in your relationship, and be sure to mention that in the conversation. Well, in the case, when you do have happy moments and your relationship was not horrible from the very beginning to the end, it's worth mentioning. Try to be a gentleman to the maximum, like when your relationship just started.

5. Tell everything clearly

Everyone loves clarity. Do not give her a hint that you can still be together. Do not leave her in suspense, do not give her false hope, so she can think on, "Is it over? Do I have a chance?" Phrases like "Maybe one day we will be happy" or " It's just really not the time" may seem a softer way to break up, but they are even crueler in fact because they do not reflect your true feelings. If you do not see the opportunity to revive this relationship, do not give her the slightest hope. If you do not say everything clearly enough, your girlfriend might think that you just want to take a timeout, and everything will be great when you calm down. She will wait until you have this "phase" over, while you will begin a new life at this time. You should better be honest at once in order not to think later how to get over a very painful breakup.

6. Don’t tell stories

What can be worse than a bruised ego of the girl whom you tell a legend in which you will look like a noble knight? Just tell her the most critical, irreconcilable reason why you both cannot be together anymore. Don’t tell her how much you are sorry and that you don’t want to hurt her. She will not believe you and perceive your words as mockery.

7. Don’t backpedal

Many guys try to go backwards when they see that the girl starts to cry. Do not do that. Remember that women are more emotional beings than men, but they are also quite strong. Do not flatter yourself, this is not the end of the world for her. Of course, at first, she will be shocked, but she will get through it. Do not let her reaction make you change your mind. You need to maintain self-control and perseverance throughout this conversation.

8. Calm her down a little bit

Let her know that she meant something to you and that both of you appreciate the time you spent together. Touch her shoulder and hug her, if she asks you. She still doesn’t understand that everything is over between you, you are still the closest person for her and she is waiting for your support. It's better to calm her a little than to treat her like a stranger and to step over her, going further. Worthy men do not do that.

9. Don’t postpone the breakup

The more you postpone it, the more painful it will be later for both of you. Because over time, you will feel unreasonable hate for her. Just because you cannot leave. However, she does not know about your troubling thoughts. Do not try to make her hate you and leave you first. This is not fair to her.

10. Don’t say words of love

Don’t tell her that you still love her but you cannot be together because of some reasons. She will be in the grip of paralysis, overwhelmed and very painfully hurt.

Sometimes it's better off as two

Almost everyone got through a breakup. It's embarrassing and sad, and frustrating, and you are afraid of lonely old age, and feel like you're watching movies without a happy ending. It’s your reality now.

Nobody likes breaking up, but to finish a relationship beautifully is a vital necessity, this skill is necessary for every man to maintain dignity and respect for himself and his ex-girlfriend.

When you break up, you feel lonely, like never earlier. This is the best time for both of you to think about yourselves, about your actions, about your life. Time to engage in self-reflection. Difficulties and obstacles in life offer opportunities for growth but for this you will have to face all the challenges and overcome them. Sometimes it is better to be single. It's difficult in some way, but you still have to go through the stage of emotional exhaustion. After a while, you will begin to see the benefits of all these gloomy, at first glance, events. An excellent opportunity to redirect emotional energy into a constructive channel is to fulfill your dreams.

When you go through such an important and difficult event in your life, you will become stronger. You will also begin to understand that situations which previously seemed to be insurmountable, are solved quite easily. There is a prospect of the future, there is the courage to do what you were afraid to even think about. Soon you will understand that after the breakup your life can become much better, much richer and brighter. You feel better off single. Leave the past in the past. And ahead of you there are still many bright events.