Have you ever noticed how good some guys are at dating? They seem to need just a few minutes to make a girl go out with them, while other decent folks remain out of the picture no matter what they do. You look neat, your boots shine like diamonds, and a confident smile never disappears from your face, but something still goes wrong. Cuties just pass by you. And it turns out all these talks that men should be straightforward and understandable don’t mean much.

Of course, self-confidence and assertiveness always boost your chances to have a date. But sometimes it’s not enough to attract attention – you need to know how to present these qualities in the right way. In fact, you don't have to reinvent the wheel to impress girls – just learn to be dateable. We’ll explain what it means and introduce a few tips to boost your dateability.

Dateability: what is this and how important is it?

In fancy words, dateability is the ratio of your overall attractiveness, which includes a variety of factors, including personality traits, external features, and even financial well-being. Basically, it dictates how much chance you have to get a yes from a girl when asking her out. For instance, two similarly looking guys may be absolutely different when it comes to dating: one may have an edge over the other just because he’s got kind eyes. A friendly smile, freckles, expensive car, dirty shoes – it’s these little details that form your dateability. If you’re moody or prone to phubbing in relationships, your dateability score drops. If you have a good sense of humor or taste for clothes, it goes up.

Your dateability also largely depends on your goals in dating. Ladies are usually suspicious towards guys who are looking for a one-night stand, preferring those who’d like to get to know them better. The same goes for romantic types who hope to meet that special someone on the first date. Surprisingly, dateability doesn’t depend largely on physical features. They certainly play their role, but in general, your age, weight, height, hair, and eye color aren’t always a decisive factor because tastes differ, and we all have our preferences. What does matter, though, is your personality, what kind of person you are.

People are starting to attach more and more importance to dateability, but is it really a game-changer? Kind of. Naturally, if you keep on dating despite not having many chances, one day you’ll meet someone who’d like you the way you are, and dateability only tells how soon it will happen. There’s no such thing as being completely undateable. However, it would be a great idea to work on yourself a bit to be more confident on the dating scene.

Check yourself: how dateable are you?

How do you think, what are your chances with women? We’re not talking about chatting with single girls online. We’re talking about real-life dating. Let’s find this out with our brief am I dateable quiz. 

1. Do you use curse words in everyday life?
 a) Yeah, that happens from time to time.
 b) Nope, I don’t use them at all or only when I’m all by myself.

Often, cursing is a major turn-off for girls, although many of them curse on a daily basis.

2. Do you always pay attention to how you look?
 a) Yes, sure. I look perfect all the time.
 b) No, I can get a little lazy at home sometimes.

Try to look after yourself not only when you’re outdoors but at home too.

3. Let’s talk about your sense of humor. Is it good?
 a) Yeah, I’d say so. I’m good at making people laugh.
 b) I guess no. I can get a few smiles out of my friends, but nothing more.

A good sense of humor is your superpower when it comes to dating.

4. And what about your sense of style? Do you know how to dress to impress?

 a) Yes, I do. I’ve never heard people talking bad about my style.
 b) I don’t know. I never attached any importance to my look.

A sense of style is what makes you stand out from the majority of men.

5. Do you show the initiative when dealing with women?
 a) I certainly do. I’m the one who chooses the place and time. Am I dateable now?
 b) Kind of. I prefer to give my companion the right to choose too.

By showing your initiative, you prove that you’re self-confident, and girls love that.

6. How’s your self-esteem?
 a) Pretty fine. I don’t think I’m worse than somebody else.
 b) So-so. I often compare myself to others, and the results aren’t promising.

Self-esteem is like muscles – you can boost it through everyday work on yourself.

7. I prefer actions over words.
 a) That’s right, there’s no better way to show your feelings than by doing something romantic.
 b) Words can be much more powerful than actions.

For women, deeds always mean as much as words and often even more.

That was the last question. Here’s how this quiz works. If you answered a, you got one point; if the answer’s b, you got nothing. It’s as simple as that. Now let’s count and see the results. So, are you dateable?

3 and less

Your chances aren’t that high. Of course, you can still meet your one and only, but this will take a lot of time unless you start working on yourself.

From 4 to 5

That’s pretty average. You’re just like most of the guys around you. Your dateability is pretty solid, but you can do even better if you put a bit of effort into self-improvement.

5 and more

You don’t need any dateability quiz to know you’re good. Feel free to take action and ask ladies out. You can boost your chances even more if you want, but that’s not necessary.

Tips to become more dateable among girls

As we’ve said, even if you scored 7, there’s always room for improvement. Let’s learn how to become dateable with these ten tips.

Learn to keep eye contact

Any girl likes to be surprised but not too much. Don’t rush things and have some patience. The most important thing is for her to notice your presence. At this stage, you must first establish eye contact. Naturally, there’s no need to stalk your victim, brazenly look into her eyes, or stare at her tirelessly. A fleeting glance and a sweet smile are enough. Most of the girls will surely smile back at you. In any case, female curiosity will make them react at least somehow. If she noticed you, she already likes you, or she’s at least interested.

Try to be original

There are certain phrases and actions that sometimes work several times in a row with different girls. But someday they will misfire. Each girl is good in her own way. Don’t be lazy! Improvise, note only the genuine details. Be sure to think over your opener. Look around and act according to the circumstances. But remember, the most mediocre phrase for dating is: "Hey, what’s your name?" It's a failure. After it, the chances to make the girl interested drop to zero. This is a total fiasco! No blanks from the Internet. Only your own unique phrases.

Spice up persistence with flexibility

The most important thing when learning how to be datable is that you’re not as resourceful and smart as you think. Girls are pretty insidious. The most innocent appearance hides a difficult person. You’ll certainly have to pass the test. While you’re complimenting her shoes, she’s running a whole system of information analysis in her head. As a result, you may hear something like, "I don't meet on the street." That's when flexible persistence comes in handy. You want her to like you? Then don’t get confused and "finish her off" with the phrase, "I’m not into street chats either. Maybe we'll go to a café, then?"

Plan ahead

You can’t go without a plan even when you improvise. Sure, if you know how to turn any circumstance to your advantage, you can win some attention with your dexterity, but when you clearly understand what to do in a particular situation, you earn even more points. You don’t have to put much effort into it: plan your dates ahead of time and don't let them go by themselves. This doesn’t mean that you need to become a pedantic maniac, but at least learn how to make a girl think that you’re keeping things under control.

Be positive

Of course, it’s extremely important for your mental well-being not to hold grudges in yourself and to calmly talk about everything that bothers you. But when you become overwhelmed with negativity, then it’ll begin to poison both your life and the lives of people surrounding you. If you master the art of finding the positive in things and actively seek solutions, this will significantly boost your chances of gaining female attention than endless nagging. The phrase, "I’m so sad" hasn’t turned on any woman yet, so don’t expect your companion to rush into your arms.

Don't focus on your body too much

On the one hand, how to become dateable if you don’t have an impressive body? On the other hand, that there’s no point in having an amazing body if: a) you spend too much time in the gym, and you have no time to taste the fruits of training and have a lot of fun; b) you decide that this is all you need, and as a result, you degrade as a person. Your perfect body is just a showcase: it’ll grab the attention of buyers, but in order to really sell a product, you need to be able to present it. Unfortunately, no one will fall in love with you simply because of the muscles. 

Try to look cheerful

Girls like funny men much more than moody ones. Guys with a sense of humor get phone numbers three times more often than their silent counterparts. The effect of the dependence of male attractiveness on a sense of humor is partly due to the fact that cheerful people are considered more social and intelligent, that is, the way women want their other half to be.

Be polite

When asking yourself, “how dateable am I?” check how good you are to people. A 2014 Chinese study of 120 people found that when someone’s described as being polite, their face becomes more attractive to others. Personality can be associated with beauty, so that positive characteristics contribute to the attractiveness of facial features, while negative ones reduce it. So if you like someone, treat them well. In fact, be polite even to those who dislike you. This will make you more attractive to people around and make the world a better place.

Develop your character

If you want to become more dateable, you must develop your character. Owning fancy things and expensive cars is great, but these things aren't enough when it's time for a serious relationship. If a man hasn’t learned to make a woman feel valuable, he may forget about a fulfilling and meaningful love life.

Play in your league

If you find someone whose attractiveness is at your level, you’ll avoid two problems: the person who’s more attractive will make you nervous because there’s a high probability of losing them, while the person who’s less attractive gives rise to doubts – maybe you should look for someone else?

As you can see, the tips are pretty simple. The main thing is to make sure you follow them properly. Practice them. Observe, follow your companion’s reaction, behavior, and it’ll immediately become clear whether they work or not. And when you begin to see progress, don’t stop.

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