Frankly speaking, office affairs happen almost in every more or less big company. Of course, there is nothing wrong or strange about having a partner and building a relationship but only if you do not decide to date your coworker.

Quite often, there are personal relationships between work colleagues, despite the fact that corporate policy usually does not encourage and sometimes even forbids this kind of interaction. Particularly noticeable an office affair will be in a small team and that’s where it will cause the greatest resonance.

It is impossible to prohibit office affairs, although some Western companies try to deal with excessively amorous employees. However, when you spend a third of your life at work (if not more) watching the object of adoration from morning till night, fighting with feelings becomes stupid and hopeless, and you start dreaming about dating a coworker.

dating a coworker

The eternal dispute – is it a bad idea to date your coworker?

The probability of office affairs arises especially among people who are unhappy and unsatisfied with their work. They try to occupy themselves with something interesting or just to find an outlet within the workspace, starting to communicate a lot with pleasant people of the opposite sex. Flirting is still in force. However, even if you didn’t originally think about dating a coworker and having a serious relationship, your harmless flirting could grow into something bigger.

The outcome of the office affair depends on the people who have started it. Therefore, if you want to be involved in dating coworkers, determine for what reason you need that, and what goal you pursue. Look closely at your partner, do they really reciprocate you? You can talk to them and find out how you will behave in the office, how you will answer questions (just believe that there will be questions of all sorts), and what you will do if you decide to break up. This tactic will give both of you some peace at work and eliminate the explanations before the superiors.

can you be fired for dating a coworker You can compose several volumes on the topic, "When you date a coworker", using articles from the career and psychology publications. There are so many questions, “Is it worth to start an office affair? Why do you want to do that? What can you get more: benefit or harm?” Anyway, many office affairs have become the foundation of wonderful strong families. Perhaps, you need to have some kind of an action plan to make it work.

One-night stands are a predictable thing since after corporate events and late-night parties, drinking helps you complete your longtime intentions. If this happens, and you date a coworker, what you can and what you cannot do? How can you not show your close relations in front of the entire office?

Of course, your relations should not be advertised at the work. It is better to behave with each other as colleagues in order to be able to protect your home comfort from invasion by strangers. In addition, other people will not say that you get a lot of indulgences because your partner, for example, is a boss.

You should not be afraid of the office affairs, after all, it is only your work place. You just need to follow the established rules and then even the usual affair will bring pleasure and leave a pleasant mark in the memory.

12 rules of dating your coworker you should follow

1. Do not forget about professional competence. When coworkers are in relationships, the line between work and personal life is blurred. What does it mean to respect the boundaries? This is a creed. You must clearly observe it. Its essence is that work is work. Here certain tasks and deeds are carried out. Business etiquette excludes flirting, romantic behavior, revealing outfits and other things that can break the boundaries of business relationships.

It is important not to allow personal issues to become part of the work space when dating your coworker. Never allow personal disputes to interfere with the work process and to impede labor productivity, never sort out your relationship at work.

2. Limit the public manifestations of love. The office is a place to work and not to show your feelings. Respect other coworkers and don’t forget that you can incur their irritation and anger, showing your relationship too overtly. How to date a coworker? Do not transfer your relationship to work, otherwise, there is a risk of spoiling everything. It's great when you do not meet your partner at work, but if you should work in one department, try to be more reserved and think about purely working moments.

3. Consider the feelings of other coworkers. Often, colleagues work in small groups on a project. The members of such a group may feel uncomfortable if there is a couple among them. Consider this factor and try to make sure that your productivity is not affected.

How to date a coworker? Concentrate on doing your job, especially if you want to overcome the unpleasant consequences of gossips. Nobody wants to know the details of your relationship, nobody cares how you spent the weekend. Save these stories for relatives and friends outside the office. Talking about a relationship can also distract your colleagues from work, so avoid that.

4. Do not single out your partner from other coworkers. This is incredibly difficult to do, but it is necessary. Try not to show indulgence towards the person you like (even if you are not yet connected by a relationship). It is not also necessary to run to the other extreme and set unreasonably high demands to them. Such relations will not go unnoticed in the team and can create a tense atmosphere.

5. Do not exchange too personal letters by email or corporate network. It is very easy to check everything. Moreover, you can recklessly leave the letter open, solving the urgent problem that has arisen. If the emotions are off the scale, and you cannot wait to kiss your lover, it is better to do it at least not in the office building. It is necessary to be careful with work letters also not just because a coworker from the accounting department can fall from the chair, receiving them by mistake. Everything you write can be used against you. Can you be fired for dating a coworker? Yes, you can.

date your coworker 6. Do not organize joint business trips and projects to be closer to your beloved one. That wouldn't be any good anyway, so try to leave the work schedule as usual. This will help your couple solve the necessary issues and have time to miss each other.

7. Should you date a coworker? If your coworker is married, do not even dare to look at them. It will not bring anything good, just believe. Moreover, if a married coworker has children. An office affair with a married person rarely ends up happily. As a rule, nothing serious comes out of such a relationship. And you just ruin your coworker’s family and suffer yourself. The bottom line is that you will either have to work next to an unpleasant person or to leave due to serious nervous tension. It is morally very difficult to work with a person with whom you once had a relationship. In addition, you will get stink eye all the time because rumors travel fast, and the cat's out of the bag.

8. Come up with a backup plan. How to date a coworker without drama? You should think through a number of rules and a general alternative plan of how both of you will deal with issues getting in trouble because of gossip, etc.

9. Do not bring quarrels to the office. In modern open work space, it is difficult to concentrate: a lot of gadgets, deadlines, multitasking. If you add two lovers, arguing because of unwashed dishes, you will get a terrible working climate. To complain about problems in your personal life is highly unprofessional (regardless of whether you date a coworker or not).

10. Don’t become one of those awkward couples. Sometimes it happens. Think about how it looks when two people from the whole team form a closed cocoon. They show feelings only to each other and are interested only in each other, and interaction with the rest of the team reduces only to the minimum that is necessary not to be rude. They become the most boring segment of the office. They come to work and go out together all the time, they have dinner together and talk almost with no one else. Try to divide your relationships, work and free time.

11. Do not drink alcohol at work. This should be taboo number one. If you drink with a coworker at work, in most cases it can bring you closer together and lead to an intimate relationship right there even without asking a coworker on a date. When drinking alcohol, you lose control, the limits disappear, and you decide that it is a good idea to have sex.

12. Be aware of potential legal traps. Employees are usually advised to report cases of harassment or events that affect adversely the work environment. Different specialists have different degrees of sensitivity, and there is always a risk of hitting someone. Even the use of any kind words can start unpleasant proceedings. So, keep your relationship secret for your own good.

What conclusion can you draw from that?

Relationship with a coworker has both its positive and negative sides. Each person chooses for himself personally to date or not to date a coworker.

How to finish an office affair as painlessly as possible if the former lover still remains a coworker? First of all, you should pull yourself together and establish a friendly relationship with them. Neither dramatic scenes nor telling the team the details of your relationship have a point there. If you can not stick to such a pattern of behavior, the daily meetings with the former lover are equal to a terrible torture, the only way out is to see them as rarely as possible. First, you can try to go on vacation. If this does not help, you'll have to look for another job. Otherwise, the wounds from the unfortunate dating will not heal very long.

Do not be initially skeptical about the office affair because many happy families are formed that way. In addition, the feelings inspire the person to excellent actions, fill them with happiness and allow them to look positively at everything around them. These components have a good influence on promotion on the career ladder. Therefore, starting an office affair is useful and easy in some cases, but one should not forget the consequences.

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