Dating An Introvert: Basic Rules and Guidelines

Who Are Introverts and Why You Should Date Them?

Who are introverts? Well, given that Google gives approximately half a million search results on 'is introversion a disorder?', there is a certain number of people who believe that introverts are mentally ill... Tisk, tisk, are we in 1960s or what? Because such a conclusion pushes us backwards almost half a century. Introversion is anything, but a disorder. And there is no point considering shyness as one of the signs of an introvert. You are not introvert if you are shy, and you are not crazy if you are an introvert. So, what are the signs of an introvert person?

1. Finding Crowds Stressful

Yep, crowds are not a favorite place of someone who is an introvert. Introverts don't like crowded places, because they feel uncomfortable with too many people. Mainly, because there's no possibility of a dialog.

2. Feeling Comfortable On Their Own

Introverts feel comfortable on their own. It doesn't mean that they hate people, they just have enough things to do and to think over on their own. Introverts can be viewed as independent people, because they are very unlikely to be dependent on someone. But it doesn't mean that you can't rely on them.

3. Trusting People Is Not That Easy

Introverts like to analyze people that's why they really need to get to know you better before they start to trust you. Because for introverts making friends takes more time, we often believe that they have no friends. But maybe they don't have a lot of friends because they see people better? Those several people whom introverts have befriended passed the test.

4. Knowing What They Want

Because they are not distracted by thousands of people around, introverts know exactly what they want and when they want it. That's why introverts are often better in making decisions than extroverts who are affected by the outside opinions.

5. It's Not That Easy to Tell Them

With time, introverts develop a perfect balance between their socialization and alone time. Moreover, introverts often become friends with extroverts, thus it's getting harder and harder to tell whether the person is an introvert or not, until you know him or her really well.

So, who are introverts? Basically, introverts are people who gain energy from being alone. These people may not be fans of loud parties and spending time with their friends 24/7. And they are quite comfortable with that. So, as stated above, introversion has nothing to do with mental diseases or shyness.

Dating an Introvert: Rules and Guidelines

Maybe after reading the first part of this article you started thinking about dating an introvert. Or you are about to ask out some mysterious person who rarely shows up at parties and has only few friends. So, is dating an introvert difficult? Of course everything is individual, still following a few simple rules of introverts dating and you will have absolutely no problems with handling relationships with your prospective introspective partner.

Forget the Social Stigma

As we've already assumed, there's nothing negative in being an introvert. It is often believed that introverts are hard to talk with while they are quite talkative, especially in proper environments. We've mentioned that introverts often become friends with extroverts. Ever wondered why? Mainly because a lot of people are drawn to introverts since you can always have a deep conversation with them. People can share their emotions with introverts and tell their experiences, because introverts make great listeners.

Moreover, remember that introverts are often hard to tell from extroverts. Under certain conditions, introverts can easily become a life of the party and do a lot of other extroverted things. Sometimes, introverts can make better extroverts than the extroverts themselves. The only difference is that introverts don't do that on a daily basis. So, if you're in for dating introverts you should forget all those myths and negative connotations that haunt introversion.

Finding a Balance

The greatest challenge that a mixed couple, meaning an introvert and an extrovert, can face is finding the balance. You may be an extrovert and you need those loud parties, meeting with friends and constant socialization. While you know that it is important for your partner to be alone from time to time. So, does it mean that you should forget about parties? No! Does it mean that you should forget about going to parties with your introspective partner? No, again!

You already know that you need to forget the social stigma. And no one needs a relationship where one of the partners is into constant self-sacrifice activities. Your introspective partner may even like an idea of going to the party with you. The only thing you should remember that you can't go to parties every day. Your introspective partner may need some time alone to recharge. Respect his or her right to this alone time. So, sometimes you can go to the parties on your own, and it is quite okay. You'll be at the party while your partner would be recharging to go with you next time.

One On One Conversations

Remember that introverts enjoy one on one conversations thus your friends mustn't be around all the time. Introverts are great listeners and great conversationalists, but they don't like from five to ten people who are shouting to each other. Admit, often when you gather in a group of five or more people, you're not listening to each other. All of you came to tell your own story, not to listen to somebody else. This is kind of conversations that introverts really don't get. So, if you want a nice chat, it must be one on one.

Avoid Conflicts

If you are an extrovert, you're most likely to raise your voice when arguing about something. Better not to try the same thing with introverts. Introverts try to minimize the tension and aggression during the fight, thus they are more likely to show calmness at its most. You won't get out a winner (emotionally) from the conflict with an introvert. So, better to keep calm. Besides, you can always discuss what you don't like with an introvert.

Online Dating For and With Introverts

It seems that online dating is something that was created specifically for introverts. Introverts find online dating the most convenient type of dating, as they have just enough alone time. Believe it or not, but there are dating sites for introverts. Introverts and dating sometimes go hand in hand only when introverts date introverts. Still, going online is the best way to find your prospective introspective partners. So, how to date an introvert online?

Be Open

First and foremost you need to be open and sincere with an introvert online. Remember, they see who you are very well, even online. So, don't try to play games with an introvert, as it's most likely that he or she will figure out your each and every lie. And your game won't last long anyway, as they will simply stop chatting with you. Moreover, you need to be open if you want your relationship to develop, which is impossible if an introvert doesn’t trust you.

Be Patient

When you start dating an introvert online, patience is highly required. Don't forget that online dating is comfortable for them thus it may last quite long before you go out on the first date. You may get irritated by that, but you should avoid pushing on them. Being demanding online makes no sense because there's rarely online commitment. So, your demanding is most likely to end in nothing, especially if you're chatting with an introvert.

Online Must Transfer Offline

Sooner or later your relationships must transfer from online to offline word. Although we've stated that patience is required, you shouldn't wait too long before asking an introvert out. It can be viewed more as an introvert dating advice, still, you may also stay for too long online, only because you feel that this kind of communication is comfortable for both of you. So, don't get carried away. Still, if the introvert is interested in you, he or she may ask you out first.

Last, but not the least, the brief list of online dating advice for introverts:

1. Know What You Want

You can easily get carried away with online dating, plus the multiple choice has its negative effect. So, you need to have a clear picture of what you want to find. So, check the profile pictures. You're chatting with a gregarious person? Is that really what you want? Don't fall for 'supermarket syndrome' and fill your cart with everyone you can see, as it leads nowhere.

2. Plan a First Date

You know that you are an introvert and that you are great at talking. Still, offline date needs a little bit more than just talking, so plan beforehand. You know that you can become extroverted under certain circumstances, so you need to create them for yourself. Why not go for a walk and then visit some karaoke bar or join some contest? It may turn out to be fun for you and for your prospective extroverted partner as well.